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Telehealth medical appointments have blessed people’s lives in so many ways. They make it possible to see your healthcare provider from the comfort of your own home, saving time, money, and energy. Unfortunately, one man found his telehealth therapy appointments to be more of a curse.

Thinking that he was alone, he did what you’re supposed to do in therapy and really let his emotions and worries out. Little did he know his girlfriend had come home and was listening in on the whole thing. Now, she feels “betrayed” because of his words … but doesn’t he have every right to feel betrayed too?

A man asked for advice on Reddit after his girlfriend eavesdropped on his telehealth therapy session and heard some things she didn’t like.

He posted to the website’s r/AskMen forum for some feedback after his girlfriend went behind his back and betrayed his trust, but instead claimed the opposite. “My girlfriend came home to (me) on therapy through telehealth,” he explained. “She heard me talking about her and chose to listen for about 30 minutes before I realized she was home.”

Timur Weber | Pexels

His girlfriend was very hurt by what he said. “She stormed out and was extremely angry at me,” he said. “I had been talking about our relationship, and had, in (the) heat of emotions, jumped to hurtful conclusions about how people around me feel about her, which (I) worry I misconstrued in my speaking as dislike. I had also been talking about our relationship, some stresses, getting everything out and just talking through it.”

While this sounds like a perfectly normal occurrence for a therapy session, his girlfriend didn’t see it that way. “She says she feels betrayed and like she was stabbed in the back over this,” he shared. Now, he feels stuck and confused. “I feel awful, and I haven’t been able to interpret my feelings on this appropriately either, and I have been responding with anger,” he admitted. “How do I proceed? What do I do? Sorry for the small details. It’s for privacy’s sake.”

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Commenters were pretty shocked by the girlfriend’s behavior.

While the man worried he was possibly in the wrong somehow, other Reddit users assured him this was all on his girlfriend. “You didn’t do anything wrong, she was the one who violated your privacy by listening in on your session,” one person said. “As far as I’m concerned it’s not on you to do anything; she should be apologizing to you.”

“For real! Therapy is literally THE place to air your grievances. It’s supposed to be private for a reason,” someone else responded. When the boyfriend expressed in a comment of his own that his girlfriend felt like she couldn’t trust him anymore, another Redditor offered him some tough love. “Bro, she is the one that can’t be trusted,” they said. “She violated your privacy.”

Others suggested this was an example of DARVO — deny, attack, reverse victim and offender. “It is a classic abuser and toxic person tool in arguments,” one person said. “Narcissists particularly love it.”

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This is a difficult situation since the man was at home when his girlfriend eavesdropped.

If he had been in his therapist’s office and she had been listening in, that would have been a major problem. According to the Department of Health and Human Servicesa therapist would need their patient’s permission to share any information with family or friends unless they were incapacitated to comply with HIPAA privacy laws. Of course, this man was at home, so ensuring privacy was really up to him.

Tima Miroshnichenko | Pexels

Technically, what his girlfriend did might not have been wrong in the eyes of the law. However, that doesn’t mean it was ethically or morally right. Choosing to listen to someone’s private therapy session is not something that should be taken lightly.

Trust and respect are integral to any relationship, and this man’s girlfriend did not show him either. Relationship experts Jodie Milton and Reece Stockhausen explained, “Transparency in relationships involves communicating openly and honestly … Transparency doesn’t mean disclosing every single thought you have, though. You are entitled to a sense of privacy and independence in a healthy relationship.”

This man is absolutely entitled to privacy, especially when it comes to his therapy sessions. His girlfriend did not respect that, and as a result, he should tread carefully if he wants to continue seeing her.

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Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.