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A server has sparked a debate surrounding the differences in restaurant habits between boomers and Gen Z. Her controversial video, showcasing how two very different generations left their tables after eating, had some arguing which age group demonstrates more respect and awareness for customer service workers, while others claimed that such awareness should not be necessary. 

A waitress filmed a video showing how a group of ‘boomers’ left their table before leaving a restaurant, and how a group of ‘Gen Zers’ left theirs. 

Kate Brande, who previously worked as a waitress, took to TikTok in 2020 to share a video she captured after a couple of her tables, one a group of boomers and the other a group of Gen Zers, had left their dirty dishes and silverware. Baby boomers are those who were born between the years 1946 and 1964, during the mid-20th century population increase referred to as the “baby boom.” Gen Z is the cohort born between 1997 and 2012.

“Here’s all I’m saying,” Brande started off her video, which has received over 1 million likes. She turned the camera to one of her tables, with plates, utensils, napkins, and straw wrappers scattered about. 

“This is a table of five boomers that I took some plates out of the way of already,” she shared. She then panned the camera to the table directly next to it, which had plates and glasses stacked into a neat pile, with garbage placed onto one plate. “This is a table of six Gen Zs. They did that,” Brande noted how the group organized and cleaned their table prior to leaving the restaurant. “Just sayin’.” 

“They get paid to do that vs. ‘We know restaurant life is hard, let us help you out,’” the waitress captioned her video. After the video hit 9.3 million views, Brande was forced to delete it after corporate discovered it. She has since quit her job and reposted the viral video. 

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The server’s video has sparked a heated discussion surrounding restaurant etiquette and different behaviors demonstrated by older and younger generations. 

Some people believe that it is common courtesy to organize and clean the table to the best of your ability to make your server’s job easier. “It’s just common sense to clean up after yourself when finished with your meal. Just stack the plates, is all we ask!!!” one TikTok user commented. “Gen Zs have empathy that is rare to find in the older generations,” another user wrote. 

Other users believed that younger generations are more socially aware than older ones, which is why the group of Gen Zers organized their dirty dishes while the boomers did not, referring to boomers as “lazy” and “entitled.” 

However, other people argued that it was not the customers’ job to clean up the table and that it was the responsibility of the restaurant staff. “It’s the waiter’s job to clean it up they signed up for it,” one user wrote. “That’s your job, why do you expect the public to do it for you, are you not capable to do it yourself? if you don’t like what you do, then change,” another user shared. 

Others noted that the boomers were likely unaware that cleaning their tables off for their servers was a sign of appreciation and respect. Many who are a part of Gen Z view themselves as compassionate and progressive individuals with a heightened understanding of the struggles customer service employees face. 

Despite what seems like the more courteous thing to do, hospitality experts say boomers are doing the right thing by leaving their tables as is. Heather Morrison, co-owner and hospitality director at Restaurant Olivia in Denver, Colorado, told AllRecipes, “We know that 100 percent of the time the guest’s heart is in the right place, but stacking plates feels like a signal that you do not trust us to do our job.” She added that by stacking, “you may actually make it harder for servers to clear your table in one fell swoop. There’s a system, and it’s best not to disrupt it. Stacks of plates are also unattractive and cluttered-looking, too. Other diners don’t want to see that.”

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Gen Zers’ hearts are in the right place, even if stacking dishes isn’t the way to show it.

When it comes to compassion and empathy, it’s true that Gen Z cares, or at least they try their best. Seventy-three percent of Gen Z students report themselves as being compassionate, and 80% of them see themselves as being thoughtful and “mainly concerned about the issues facing other people,” per a study conducted by the University of North Florida.

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Many people who are part of Gen Z are also working customer service jobs, including serving, and are aware of some of the difficulties that the position entails. After all, who better to know how hard a job is than someone who’s worked it before?

Although the Gen Zers seated at Brande’s table were trying to be kind by cleaning and organizing their dirty dishes and utensils, it might not be the best indicator that boomers are less empathetic than the younger cohort. Perhaps they just learned that it’s not helpful to servers to mess with the dishes. 

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Megan Quinn is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and a minor in Creative Writing. She covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on justice in the workplace, personal relationships, parenting debates, and the human experience.