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Plane flights aren’t always the most fun. You have to get to the airport early, deal with long lines, and once you’re on the plane, you might be stuck near crying kids or in a seat that’s far from comfortable. It’s bearable, though, when you remind yourself of the destination and get excited about the trip ahead.

That’s why sometimes, you decide to treat yourself. You pay for the better seat. More legroom and a better spot on the plane sound like a good deal and a smoother trip. But what happens when, right before you board, someone approaches you and asks if you’d be willing to switch seats?

The man decided not to trade his premium seat with a grieving mom.

The traveler took to Reddit to share his uncomfortable travel experience. “I was on a 10-hour international flight heading home from my university exchange program,” he wrote. The man explained that he had saved for months to afford the trip and had decided to spend extra money on a premium economy seat. The reason? More legroom, he is 6’3,” and wanted to sleep. “This was a big deal to me,” he said. “I rarely treat myself.”

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And the issue came up just 20 minutes before boarding. A woman, accompanied by a flight attendant, approached him and the gate and politely asked if he’d be willing to swap seats. She wanted to sit next to her young son, who was assigned the seat next to his.

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The man felt a bit manipulated by the mom’s sad story, but he still refused to trade.

Then came the emotional pressure. “She told me she was flying home from her father’s funeral and didn’t want to be apart from her son during the flight,” he wrote. The man soon found out that her seat was far in the back, and happened to be a non-reclining middle seat.

“I felt terrible,” he wrote. “But I said no.” He explained to the woman that he had paid extra for the seat and needed the space to rest. She teared up and walked away, telling the flight attendant, “I guess some people only care about themselves.”

Throughout the flight, the woman’s son remained quiet and didn’t speak to the man. At landing, another passenger tapped him on the shoulder and said, “You could’ve shown some humanity.” The man said he felt awful. What a flight! You pay for the better seat so you can finally rest, and end up getting shamed for it.

When it comes to seat switching etiquette, however, this man has nothing to feel bad about. Eugene Fodor of the famed travel site Fodor’s addressed this topic specifically in his advice column. He wrote, “If asked to switch your seat, the first question to consider is what seat you’ll be switching to. If you have pre-booked a window seat, for example, and are being asked to switch to a middle seat, that might be an instance in which to decline the switch politely.” Well, we know the man checks that box.

“Another thing to consider,” Fodor wrote, “is whether you’ve paid extra for your current seat. Certain seats in the economy cabin, for example, incur an extra fee for added legroom, such as exit rows or front-of-cabin seats. If someone is asking to switch seats for one that you’ve paid extra, that is when you should decline.” Well, the man checked that box as well.

Fodor went on to say, “The final thing to mull over is the flight itself. Are you on a two-hour flight to Chicago in which switching to that middle seat will be a short-lived inconvenience? Or, are you on a long-haul flight headed to Hong Kong, where you’ll really regret giving up your window seat?” See, where we’re going here? This guy was absolutely justified in refusing to switch, regardless of the heartbreaking circumstances.

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Most people realized there was an alternative solution that the flight attendant should have pointed out.

Reddit commenters had strong opinions on the matter. In this case, how could they not? The top comment, with over 4,500 likes, pointed out a solution that would’ve fixed everything: “They could have moved her son back to her and given someone else the upgrade.” And there it is, the perfect solution. The woman would be sitting next to her son, which was all she wanted, right?

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Another user agreed with this take: “She obviously paid for the seat for her son,” they wrote. “And the back row seat she got. She knew ahead of time. She thought she could just guilt trip you into giving up your more expensive seat.” What was really at stake, the commenter said, was the man’s chance to get the good rest he had paid for.

While it’s sad that the grieving mom couldn’t sit next to her son, she could’ve, and should’ve, bought their seats together. She couldn’t just buy one and expect to get the second one for free. And really, what was stopping her from offering her son’s premium seat to someone in a standard seat next to her? People would likely have jumped at the chance for a free upgrade. In the end, the only person who truly lost here was the man. He got shamed just for sitting in the seat he paid for.

: Woman Gets Dirty Looks During Flight After Refusing To Give Up Her Seat To A Dad Who Wanted To Sit With His Family

Matt Machado is a writer studying journalism at the University of Central Florida. He covers relationships, psychology, celebrities, pop culture, and human interest topics.