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Weddings are supposed to be about two things: celebrating love, and celebrating it with your closest and most beloved friends and family. Or at least they used to be about that. Now they seem to be mainly about creating exercises in narcissism to be documented for social media. And as such, they’ve turned into ever-lengthening lists of demands and ultimatums for the people who stand up alongside the bride and groom. One woman on Reddit is dealing with this situation, facing the wrath of a bride who said she will kick her out of the wedding if she can’t afford to contribute to the bachelorette party..

A single mom can’t afford the bride’s bachelorette party.

The single mom’s situation is particularly fraught because she’s not just any random bridesmaid. She’s the bride’s best friend, and that friendship was forged while navigating the slings and arrows of motherhood together.

“We have been there for each other financially, physically and emotionally and have raised our children together,” she wrote in her post. But those bonds don’t seem to have been strong enough to withstand the bride’s bridezilla tendencies now that it’s time to start the wedding festivities.

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The trouble began when the bachelorette party was announced. It’s a low-key affair between the maid of honor and the four other bridesmaids that doesn’t even include a trip. It’s just a weekend at one of the women’s houses, along with a brunch and a few activities.

: Bride Excludes Bridesmaid From Bachelorette Trip To Disney Because She’s Not Fit Enough To Walk The Park

The bride told her she would be kicked out of the wedding unless she attends the $500 bachelorette.

Despite how low-key the bachelorette is, it nevertheless totals $500 per person, which is well outside what the single mom can afford. “I told them I could not afford that and instead could compromise and let them know which events I can participate in,” she said. “This did not go over well.”

The drama didn’t just stop at the other bridesmaids. The single mom was surprised, given their history, how unsympathetic the bride was. “[She] flipped out on me for the first time in our friendship!” she wrote.

Helgy | Canva Pro

The bride told her she is “either all in and can remain a bridesmaid or if I don’t pay up I can attend as a guest,” she went on to say. For obvious reasons, she found that deeply hurtful, and now she feels like the entire friendship is on the line.

But she also feels like she’s been sent a clear message: “It does hurt feeling like I can only prove my worth if it’s financial.” And given how outsized the bride’s response was before, she doesn’t even know how to address it.

: Bridesmaid Called ‘Dramatic’ For Dropping Out Of Wedding After Bride Gives Her A Diet Plan To Look ‘Snatched’ For The Big Day

Holding money over someone’s head isn’t friendship. It’s manipulation.

Just to give the benefit of the doubt, it’s possible this bride is just overwhelmed by the stress of wedding planning and lashing out accordingly. We all do it now and then. However, this is pretty extreme and egregious behavior.

For starters, it’s obviously wildly insensitive and unrealistic. A single mom’s primary duty is to her children, not a wedding. Five hundred may be small change to everyone else, but it’s a huge chunk of change to many, especially when they have kids. Depending on how many kids you have, that might be a full week’s groceries. It’s a lot of money.

More importantly, loyalty tests are classic tactics of manipulation, and ones frequently employed by narcissists. Which is not to say this bride is one. Few who exhibit narcissistic behavior actually have the personality disorder itself.

Nevertheless, this is manipulation, and manipulation is abuse. Putting a dollar value on a friendship is bad enough, but abuse on top of it is pretty hard to square. Unsurprisingly, most responses on Reddit were on the same theme: “She is not your friend.”

There’s certainly room to give the bride the benefit of the doubt, and an attempt to hear each other out is always the better foot forward than simply cutting and running. But big events, whether they’re good or bad, tend to bring out people’s true colors, and this bride’s don’t indicate anything good.

: Bridesmaid Receives Surprise Invoice From Bride’s Mom To Help Pay For The Expensive Bridal Shower

John Sundholm is a writer, editor, and video personality with 20 years of experience in media and entertainment. He covers culture, mental health, and human interest topics.