As every UAE parent knows, September school runs are brutal. Humidity’s at its highest, traffic’s off the scale, and lugging kids’ tablet-laden backpacks, untouched packed lunches, and steaming PE kit bags back to the car in the blazing sun at 3pm is not for the faint of heart. Heaven forbid if you’re going straight back to the office. Now is not the time for dry-clean-only fabrics, high heels, or tight, light colours that advertise sweat stains. Counterintuitively, with the mercury languishing over 40-degrees, it’s advisable to cover-up skin, unless you want to slather yourself in factor 50. This season, Dubai’s school and nursery runs have the added frisson of potential celebrity encounters; who knows, you might just find yourself in a class WhatsApp group with A-list Dubai residents Rio and Kate Ferdinand, Ronan Keating, or Lindsay Lohan. It’s time to be cool, and look cool. Here’s my simple equation for nailing school run style.
GENIUS JEANS
‘Horsehoe’ jeans, Dh1,473,
Citizens of Humanity at
Net-a-Porter
I don’t need ChatGPT to generate names for jeans that look like this: barrel, horseshoe, balloon, carrot-leg. None of them sound great, and you may not be convinced that they look great either, but I’d urge you to give them a try (ignore your kids’ horrified looks). I was a late adopter, determined that the denim companies wouldn’t have me over a barrel, so to speak, and prise me away from my uniform of straight-leg jeans. But, as is often the way with fashion, the more we see something, the more the eye adapts, and my perception of the barrel leg evolved from ugly, clownish, and gimmicky to modern, chic, and bold. It’s been two years since barrel-legs started to appear, but skinnies dominated for a good decade, so no need to declare the silhouette over quite yet. When I went over to the barrel side, I tried tonnes of styles by the likes of Agolde, Mother, AWAKE Mode, Good American, Frame, and Zara (obvs). The ones I kept are the Citizens of Humanity ‘Horsehoe’ style shown here. The waist hits at the perfect point, the horizontal seam at the knee looks expensive, and the denim holds its shape, while not being so rigid as to be stifling in Dubai heat. On paper, the shape is bonkers. On the body, it looks polished. Fashion can be weird like that. They work with flats, which is essential. I do think that they need to be expensive. Sorry. Mass produced denim washes, and cuts that are ‘off’ don’t translate to a barrel silhouette. If you’d rather shop on a budget, stick to a simple straight leg in a clean wash with no fading or distressing. Side note: fashion editors are declaring this the season of the dark indigo denim wash. I’ll be ignoring them, not least because my car interior is cream, and dark denim transfers ink. I’m a (non) dyed-in-the-wool light denim wash fan, especially in the sunshine city of Dubai. Although, if it’s anything like the barrel-leg moment, give it two years and I’ll also be in dark denim.
HIGH-LOW CAP
Cap, Dh2,150, Loewe
No one’s hair looks good in humidity. You can buy all the styling products you want, they won’t help. Save time and throw on a baseball cap. I’m going out on a limb here and saying this could be the most expensive part of your school run look. No need for a fancy handbag (you’ll be a mule for your kids’ bags anyway) so long as your bottom half has pockets, so this is where you can get a bit boujee. But not too boujee. It’s an educational environment, teachers will be judging; save overly blinged-up branding for elsewhere. Loewe, Celine, Saint Laurent, and Chloé whisper expensive rather than spelling it out in all caps like some of the more obvious logos might. Loewe’s denim cap is school-run perfection. No notes. If I saw another parent wearing this, I’d be simultaneously intimidated and impressed, and want to be friends. Saint Laurent’s collab with baseball cap specialist New Era is also the perfect blend of no-nonsense workhorse, with a smidge of flash. Which is a pretty good mantra for how I like to show up in life. One word of caution: make sure the headband’s not too tight. I recently filmed a podcast after wearing a cap all morning, and despite some very flattering lighting by the producers, you can clearly see the indent across my forehead. Incidentally, bucket hats have had a breakthrough summer, but I’m yet to be convinced as to how they translate to the school gates. Watch this space.
THE OXFORD SHIRT
Shirt, from Dh679.50, Max&Co
An oversized, button-down cotton shirt, aka an Oxford, washes well, is breathable, and easy to throw on. It’s also kind of boring. Unless it’s an oversized, button-down Oxford shirt from Max&Co’s new collaboration with artist and visual provocateur Pietro Terzini. The latest in the Italian label’s series of collabs under its &Co.llaboration initiative — past collaborators have included Superga, Richard Quinn, Duro Olowu, and Looney Tunes — Max&Co’s newest capsule harnesses Terzini’s witty word art, flipping expectations the garment might conjure. So, an Oxford shirt declares, ‘I didn’t study at Oxford’ (spot on in my case; failed the interview, went to Durham). There’s also a pinstripe suit emblazoned with ‘I Hope Your Email Won’t Find Me’, and a candy pink sweater declaring ‘Future CEO’ (love the sentiment, although I am yet to embrace knitwear in the UAE, even in January). Back to the shirt though: if the headmaster misses the ironic intent and shoots you a disapproving look, you can tell them it’s art. Tuck your school lanyard under the collar and you’ve got business at the front, party at the back. Much like my kids’ classrooms, I imagine.
HEAD GIRL LOAFER
‘Logo’ loafers, Dh2,137, Jude
When it’s a bazillion degrees outside, I strongly prefer a slip-on-and-off shoe to maximise foot breathability time. Full disclosure, that normally means hastily thrown on Havaianas, but they leave me with a similar feeling to the one you get when you hit the bottom of the biscuit tin: shame, regret, and the knowledge that I could have done better. In the school report of footwear, flip flops are a solid C minus. This term, in a bid to lift my grades, I’m eying new celebrity-favourite shoe brand Jude’s ‘Logo’ loafers. Despite the name, they are logo free, bar a teensy brand on the silver plaque. The slimline, low profile is a far lighter alternative to the clompy loafers of recent seasons, whose tractor-tread soles will weigh you down in the heat. In under 12 months since its launch, Jude’s elegant, contemporary designs have been worn by the likes of Nicole Kidman, Katie Holmes and Kylie Jenner – all three, stalwarts of the school run. Made in Portugal, from French and Italian leather, Jude is available directly from its website and via Level Shoes and Ounass. While I can’t lay claim to ever being head girl, in these loafers, at least I’ll look the part.
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