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In case you didn’t know, Actress Sheryl Lee Ralph is happily married to Pennsylvania State Senator Vincent Hughes. The ‘Abbott Elementary’ star recently did an interview with People where she opened up about her and Hughes’ nontraditional living situation and why it works for them. And when we say nontraditional, we mean it. The couple doesn’t live under the same roof!

Considering the two have been married for 20 years, it seems Ralph and Hughes might have cracked the code to a successful Hollywood union. Keeping your residences separate might just be the key, especially when both partners are professional powerhouses.

Sheryl Lee Ralph explained that the secret to her marital success has been living separately from her husband of 20 years. 

Ralph and Hughes married back in July 2005, around four years after Ralph and her ex-husband, Eric Mauricee, with whom she shares two children, divorced. Ralph and Hughes first met while she was starring in “Thoroughly Modern Millie” on Broadway, and the two immediately hit it off and have been inseparable ever since.

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“I’m very fortunate. The man that I am married to is Senator Vincent Hughes, seventh Senatorial district of Pennsylvania,” Ralph proudly told People. “You fall in love with somebody and you realize he’s not leaving his career. He’s not leaving Philadelphia. I’m not leaving Hollywood. When you have children, it’s very difficult.”

She explained that in the beginning of their relationship, the two would see each other every two weeks, and that routine has seemingly followed them into the relationship they have now, 20 years later. “When I go to see him, I love to see him. When it’s time to leave, ‘Bye-bye. See you soon.’ I’m telling you, life is good.”

She continued, “He has his own life. I have my own life. He has his own real career, I have my own real career. He has his light to stand in; I have my light to stand in. He is not looking at me, thinking about status or this or that. He’s doing his thing. I get to do my thing.”

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While it might seem unconventional, living apart works for many couples.

It can sound a bit absurd for a married couple to live apart, but it could actually be the secret to making a relationship last. Of course, what works for one couple might not work for another, and some people may find it harder to live apart than living together. But the underlying lesson of living apart is being able to have your own identity away from your partner.

Ralph being able to have her own career and life, while Hughes has his own, is something that has ultimately helped them grow as individuals, without losing themselves to the relationship. It proves that a healthy love sometimes means giving the other person space and room to breathe and be on their own.

In an interview with Brides, Sherrie Sims Allen, Ph.D., a psychologist and relationship expert, explained, “I see it as a possible growing trend as singles look at ways to connect that won’t cost them their preferred lifestyle or way of life. Research has demonstrated that LAT (Living Apart Together) relationships successfully support a viable romantic connection while offering higher levels of relationship satisfaction.”

When Ralph was asked about the one secret to the success of their marriage, the actress replied that it’s all about communicating. Considering she and her husband don’t live together, having strong communication is necessary for the survival of their relationship, and many other couples that have chosen this same route.

Ralph jokingly asserted, “I’ve evolved into [saying], ‘Let’s talk about it.’ If you sit in problems, you get anxious, depressed, and all the juiciness in life starts to dry up. I can’t have that, because all of that will mess with my good looks!”

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Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.