Only in the US could the main current topic of discussion and giggles be whether the president's signature looks like, well, pubic hair. Yes, you read that right. With the US House Committee releasing an image with a Trump-signed letter, the US in 2025 is parsing the aesthetics of presidential penmanship as though it were a Rorschach inkblot of democracy.
When The Wall Street Journal trains its monocle on you, you think you've either made it to Fortune 500 or FBI's watchlist. This time, though, the paper of record for hedge fund interns has decided to moonlight as a graphologist. Its latest allegation, stemming from the 'Epstein Files', isn't about conspiracy, cover-ups or clandestine cocktail parties, but about handwriting. Specifically, Donald J Trump's signature looking like a fuzzy groin.
WSJ has long savaged Trump for not releasing in full the 'Epstein Files', thousands of documents gathered by investigating agencies and submitted under subpoena to US Congress. These include correspondence of Jeffrey Epstein, a top Wall Street financier who passed away in prison in 2019 after being convicted first in 2008 of sexual abuse, and then again in 2019 of sex trafficking. He had many friends in high places, including Trump.
WSJ recently claimed to have unearthed a 2003 'Happy Birthday' note from Trump as part of a book with letters from famous personalities presented to Epstein on his birthday. Found and included in the 'Epstein Files', the birthday book has now been released by US Congress to the public. The note is framed by a hand-drawn silhouette of a naked woman. The note is in the form of a scripted dialogue.
Voice over: There must be more to life than having everything.
Donald: Yes, there is, but I won't tell you what it is.
Jeffrey: Nor will I, since I also know what it is.
Donald: We have certain things in common, Jeffrey.
Jeffrey: Yes, we do, come to think of it.
Donald: Enigmas never age, have you noticed that?
Jeffrey: As a matter of fact, it was clear to me the last time I saw you.
Donald: A pal is a wonderful thing. Happy Birthday - and may every day be another wonderful secret.
What will readers make of this last line? A cheeky understatement? A dig in the ribs from a man who in 2005 had said, 'You can always grab them by the pu**y,' on an Access Hollywood recording, which was leaked to the public in October 2016?
Trump's reply to WSJ's first revelation was, 'I never wrote a picture in my life. I don't draw pictures of women... It's not my language.'
Alas, internet sleuths quickly uncovered dozens of Trump doodles - including cityscapes, the Empire State Building and even a money-tree. Some of these, bearing his signature, had sold for thousands of dollars at auctions. WSJ and others even pointed to his own 2008 book, Trump Never Give Up: How I Turned My Biggest Challenges Into Success, where he admitted doodling 'buildings or a cityscape of skyscrapers' for charity.
Never has Trump shown the slightest embarrassment when discovered. He said the woman-shaped note was a fake, and filed a $10 bn suit against WSJ. But that may be unsustainable, now that Congress has revealed the contents of the birthday book. Graphologists may have the last say.
This drama has brought new excitement to WSJ. Once accustomed to dissecting interest-rate shifts, it has now become America's go-to for visual innuendo. By injecting Trump's doodles into financial reportage, WSJ has produced headlines so viral, they don't need crypto to take off.
Whether the signature is, indeed, Trump's or a prank, we don't know. But we do know that America's definition of news just expanded. America has always loved turning minor mysteries into televised spectacles. Handwriting analysis has been applied to ransom notes, love letters and even the Declaration of Independence.
But signatures, like hairstyles, are prone to wildly different interpretation. One person's 'unmistakable Trump' is another's 'my toddler with a crayon after three Red Bulls'. The same squiggle could be viewed as skyscrapers, barbed wire or - if you squint just right - follicles. Like beauty, it lies in the eye of the beholder.
Trump's autograph has from the start been a source of public fascination, with jagged strokes brimming with self-confidence. Some called it 'illegible', others 'dictatorial chic'. His critics sneered that it was not a signature conveying 'Thank you for your business', as much as 'Let's annex Greenland'.
But, then, WSJ came in with a different interpretation altogether - that the scrawl in the birthday book could be a reference to what men discuss in locker rooms. The experts squinted, compared loops, analysed strokes. Then, suddenly, someone blurted what everyone was secretly thinking: 'This looks less like a name and more like something downstairs.'
A far-fetched comparison, said Trump's supporters. But once made, it could not be un-made. The doodle is being seen around the world, and may attract more eyeballs than the Asia Cup.
Does it matter? Will the fate of democracy hinge on whether Trump left a hairy signature on a birthday book or not? Or are Americans just revelling in the theatre of the absurd, looking for a moment of levity in the heavy saga of tariffs, wars, crackdowns, crime and broken institutions? In a country that doomscrolls itself to sleep every night, the collective giggle over pubic hair has produced an unanticipated national unity in bipartisan belly laughter.
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When The Wall Street Journal trains its monocle on you, you think you've either made it to Fortune 500 or FBI's watchlist. This time, though, the paper of record for hedge fund interns has decided to moonlight as a graphologist. Its latest allegation, stemming from the 'Epstein Files', isn't about conspiracy, cover-ups or clandestine cocktail parties, but about handwriting. Specifically, Donald J Trump's signature looking like a fuzzy groin.
WSJ has long savaged Trump for not releasing in full the 'Epstein Files', thousands of documents gathered by investigating agencies and submitted under subpoena to US Congress. These include correspondence of Jeffrey Epstein, a top Wall Street financier who passed away in prison in 2019 after being convicted first in 2008 of sexual abuse, and then again in 2019 of sex trafficking. He had many friends in high places, including Trump.
WSJ recently claimed to have unearthed a 2003 'Happy Birthday' note from Trump as part of a book with letters from famous personalities presented to Epstein on his birthday. Found and included in the 'Epstein Files', the birthday book has now been released by US Congress to the public. The note is framed by a hand-drawn silhouette of a naked woman. The note is in the form of a scripted dialogue.
Voice over: There must be more to life than having everything.
Donald: Yes, there is, but I won't tell you what it is.
Jeffrey: Nor will I, since I also know what it is.
Donald: We have certain things in common, Jeffrey.
Jeffrey: Yes, we do, come to think of it.
Donald: Enigmas never age, have you noticed that?
Jeffrey: As a matter of fact, it was clear to me the last time I saw you.
Donald: A pal is a wonderful thing. Happy Birthday - and may every day be another wonderful secret.
What will readers make of this last line? A cheeky understatement? A dig in the ribs from a man who in 2005 had said, 'You can always grab them by the pu**y,' on an Access Hollywood recording, which was leaked to the public in October 2016?
Trump's reply to WSJ's first revelation was, 'I never wrote a picture in my life. I don't draw pictures of women... It's not my language.'
Alas, internet sleuths quickly uncovered dozens of Trump doodles - including cityscapes, the Empire State Building and even a money-tree. Some of these, bearing his signature, had sold for thousands of dollars at auctions. WSJ and others even pointed to his own 2008 book, Trump Never Give Up: How I Turned My Biggest Challenges Into Success, where he admitted doodling 'buildings or a cityscape of skyscrapers' for charity.
Never has Trump shown the slightest embarrassment when discovered. He said the woman-shaped note was a fake, and filed a $10 bn suit against WSJ. But that may be unsustainable, now that Congress has revealed the contents of the birthday book. Graphologists may have the last say.
This drama has brought new excitement to WSJ. Once accustomed to dissecting interest-rate shifts, it has now become America's go-to for visual innuendo. By injecting Trump's doodles into financial reportage, WSJ has produced headlines so viral, they don't need crypto to take off.
Whether the signature is, indeed, Trump's or a prank, we don't know. But we do know that America's definition of news just expanded. America has always loved turning minor mysteries into televised spectacles. Handwriting analysis has been applied to ransom notes, love letters and even the Declaration of Independence.
But signatures, like hairstyles, are prone to wildly different interpretation. One person's 'unmistakable Trump' is another's 'my toddler with a crayon after three Red Bulls'. The same squiggle could be viewed as skyscrapers, barbed wire or - if you squint just right - follicles. Like beauty, it lies in the eye of the beholder.
Trump's autograph has from the start been a source of public fascination, with jagged strokes brimming with self-confidence. Some called it 'illegible', others 'dictatorial chic'. His critics sneered that it was not a signature conveying 'Thank you for your business', as much as 'Let's annex Greenland'.
But, then, WSJ came in with a different interpretation altogether - that the scrawl in the birthday book could be a reference to what men discuss in locker rooms. The experts squinted, compared loops, analysed strokes. Then, suddenly, someone blurted what everyone was secretly thinking: 'This looks less like a name and more like something downstairs.'
A far-fetched comparison, said Trump's supporters. But once made, it could not be un-made. The doodle is being seen around the world, and may attract more eyeballs than the Asia Cup.
Does it matter? Will the fate of democracy hinge on whether Trump left a hairy signature on a birthday book or not? Or are Americans just revelling in the theatre of the absurd, looking for a moment of levity in the heavy saga of tariffs, wars, crackdowns, crime and broken institutions? In a country that doomscrolls itself to sleep every night, the collective giggle over pubic hair has produced an unanticipated national unity in bipartisan belly laughter.
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Swaminathan S Anklesaria Aiyar
Consulting Editor at ET