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A friends-with-benefits setup is often seen as a win-win arrangement—casual intimacy without strings, and an easy, stress-free way to enjoy someone’s company. But things get complicated when one of you secretly hopes it will turn into love, while the other is perfectly content keeping it casual. Suddenly, what once felt carefree now feels like a trap.

You may find yourself caught—too emotionally invested to move on, yet too attached to let go.

The good news is, there are ways to shift the dynamic and subtly encourage him to see you as more than just a hookup. If you play it right, avoid sabotaging your chances, and show him a different side of you, you might just turn your FWB into the relationship you’ve been dreaming of.

Here are some tips to put you one step ahead—so that he starts realizing he may have been falling for you all along:

# Look for the signs

Before making a move, figure out where he stands. Does he treat you like more than just a casual fling? If he introduces you to his friends, spends time with you outside the bedroom, avoids talking about other women, or even includes you in future plans, those are promising signs. These gestures don’t guarantee he’s ready for a relationship, but they do suggest he’s open to seeing where things go.

# Go MIA strategically

Pull back once in a while. Delay your responses or disappear for a bit. This will make him wonder what you’re up to—and the possibility of you spending time with someone else may spark his desire to claim your attention.

# Don’t always be available

Being too accessible can make you seem like an easy option. If you want him to value you as a potential partner, create some space and show that your time is valuable.

# Have real conversations

Talk about life beyond the bedroom. Deep conversations and meaningful exchanges help build emotional intimacy, showing him that there’s more to you than just the physical connection.

# Show your true self

Don’t let him see you as desperate or insecure. Instead, project confidence, independence, and self-respect. Be caring, but also demonstrate that you have standards and won’t settle for less than you deserve.

# Drop hints of your “wifey” side

Without overdoing it, casually show glimpses of your nurturing, domestic side—like mentioning you’re cooking or organizing something at home. Knowing that side of you exists, but that it isn’t easily accessible to him, can trigger his competitive instinct.

# Be unforgettable in bed

If he’s going to consider a relationship, he needs to feel you’re the best he’s ever had. Put effort into intimacy—but also expect the same in return. If he doesn’t care about your satisfaction, he’s not worth your time.

# Don’t try too hard

The more you appear indifferent, the more he’ll want your approval. Show him that you don’t need him to validate you—this will make him chase your attention even more.

# Set boundaries

Never compromise on things that make you uncomfortable. Learning to say no firmly not only earns his respect but also reinforces that you won’t tolerate being disrespected.

# Avoid looking promiscuous

If he thinks you’re sleeping around, he may never take you seriously. Instead, let him know he’s the only one you’re with right now—while keeping it clear that you could have other options if you wanted. This mix of exclusivity and subtle jealousy can tip the balance in your favor.