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A new mom revealed that she is breaking up with her therapist over her cancellation policy after she was charged for missing an appointment due to a reason that was completely out of her control. Posting about her dilemma to Reddit, she explained that her therapist didn’t seem to care that going into labor meant she couldn’t give the office 24-hour notice before backing out of her appointment. 

No one would argue that cancellation policies aren’t justified, but like with any emergency, exceptions must be allowed. Would it good policy for a restaurant to charge a customer for a reservation if they were in a life-threatening car accident on the way to dinner? Understandably, she’s now on the hunt for a new psychologist after this deal-breaking debacle.

A new mom was charged for missing a therapy session while she was giving birth.

StoryTime Studio | Shutterstock

“When I gave birth a few months ago, I cancelled my appointments for the week, including the one with my psychologist that I had later that day,” she began in her Reddit post. “She emailed me back to congratulate me, but also remind me that she does not allow cancellations and that I would need to pay for the session in full.”

She explained that, naturally, she was extremely angry at the fact that her therapist couldn’t seem to excuse this last-minute cancellation, considering she was giving birth and there was absolutely no way that she would’ve been able to inform her therapist any earlier. She had gone into labor without warning during the late hours of the night, so there was no possible way she could give the required 24-hour warning.

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The therapist told the new mom she couldn’t ‘discriminate’ between excuses and that everyone was held to the same policy.

Despite how the new mom felt, she managed to hold in her anger while emailing back and forth with her therapist. Her psychologist actually told her that while she understood the spontaneous circumstances of her labor, she said she “can’t discriminate between excuses. It’s also not their fault if someone misses their train, or need to take their dog to the vet, etc. etc. and that it was quite clear in my contract that she does not accept cancellations.” 

While cancellation policies are important and there are people who might abuse them, that’s not the case here. Therapy is supposed to be nothing short of a safe space, and most people expect their therapist to extend at least a bit of grace when they’re going through a major life moment that could not be predicted.

What was this mom supposed to do? Bring her laptop and set it up while she’s delivering a baby? It’s ridiculous that she’s still expected to pay for a session when she had real-life things going on.

Licensed clinical social worker Ryan DeCook explained that cancellation policies are important for therapists when it comes to building a sustainable practice. However, he also noted that there must be exceptions. He wrote, “You will need to determine if there are any exceptions to your cancellation policy. The most common version of this is for emergencies. You can determine in your policy what you consider an emergency and make that clear to the client. For example, a trip to the hospital or a car accident may count as an emergency, but double booking a work meeting may not count. When these exceptions arise, the fee would be waived.”

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She told her therapist that she would not be coming back for another session.

“I let her know that I would be paying for the session, but also that it would be my last,” she continued. “Since then, she has backed out and agreed to let the payment go but this is just so stupid to me. Medical emergencies are obviously acceptable excuses. Does she bill someone who gets a heart attack? Would she bill their spouse if they die?”

As one commenter wrote, “most therapists have a 24-hour cancellation policy, but most offices are going to be understanding about something as unpredictable as going into labor. My therapist has the same 24-hour policy, but also said at the outset that she understands that sometimes there are emergencies that don’t allow for 24 hours notice and in that case to give her the maximum amount of notice and she’ll be reasonable about the policy.”

And that’s exactly what DeCook said as well. As long as the policy specifies what constitutes an emergency, everyone can get on board. This therapist is clearly struggling to build a practice and moving on actually might be the best thing for this new mom.

Truthfully, this new mom is not overreacting in the slightest because her therapist’s cancellation policy is extremely out of touch with reality. There’s a difference between having professional boundaries with your clients and not giving people an ounce of compassion for circumstances literally beyond their control. Going into labor is not the same as forgetting that you had an appointment and sleeping through your alarm.

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Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.