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There comes a moment in every heart’s journey when you realize you’ve poured so much of yourself into others that there’s barely anything left for you. You start noticing that your moods depend on who texts back, your self-worth on who stays, and your peace on who approves.

1. Choose yourself, not someone else’s chase
When love becomes a chase, you lose yourself. You pursue someone else’s approval, affection or presence and in that pursuit your peace, your self-worth and your higher self get sidelined. But the Gita calls you back to your core. “Lift yourself by your Self; do not let the Self degrade you. For the Self is the friend of the Self, the Self is the enemy of the Self.” This verse means: You are your own greatest ally or greatest obstacle. No one else can truly be your rescue. Another clear line: “It is better to perform one’s own duty, however imperfectly, than to perform another’s duty perfectly.” (3.35) You are not here to live someone else’s expectations, someone else’s life, someone else’s chase.

• Start choosing you: when the voice inside says “I’m tired of giving and losing myself”, listen.
• Chase your higher self instead of someone’s attention. Meaning: eat healthy, go to the gym, journal instead of crashing out emotionally, put on a cute outfit and take care of your appearance, not for someone else, but for you.
• When a relationship, a friendship or a person costs your peace, disengage. The Gita says: act, but don’t attach to the result. (2.47)
• Recognise: longing for someone to complete you is illusion. The completion can only come from within.

When you pick yourself first, your internal compass becomes stronger. You don’t bend so easily under emotional noise. Your identity remains intact. You stop mistaking another person’s love or approval for your self-worth. In that steadiness lies freedom.

Discipline is the highest form of self-respect

Love without self-foundation is unstable. The Gita emphasises consistent, disciplined action as the path to mastery and peace. “Whose intellect is steady, there is a steady path; but whose mind has many branches of thought, whose intellect is spread, there is confusion.”

• Build a routine you feel safe in, wake up, move your body, eat well, reflect (journaling), express yourself (appearance, meaningful interaction) instead of collapsing into chaos when emotions hit.
• Show up for yourself: gym session, healthy meal, clean space, not because someone told you but because you chose you.
• Discipline also means saying “no” to ease or comfort if they distract you from your growth.
• Understand that miracles often show up when you’ve created internal safety, structure, rhythm. The Gita says actions done with steadiness, without obsession over fruits, lead to calm. (2.48)

When you are disciplined, you demonstrate to yourself that you matter. You build trust with yourself. You begin to feel anchored, not adrift. And you become magnetic, not because you chase, but because you stand in your own power.

True magnetism = self-care + kindness, not frantic chasingMany confuse love with obsession: the person who chases someone “in the name of love” is not magnetic, they are dependent. The Gita gives us the deeper code of attraction: serenity, self-worth, alignment.

• If you’re constantly running after someone, asking for validation, you are investing your energy in someone who may not match your vibration.
• Let people come to you. Let the unnecessary slip away. Because if something costs you your peace, it’s too high a price.
• Kindness is potent. But true magnetism grows when you are kind to yourself first, your body, your mind, your time, your soul. Then others respond to that frequency.
• A person who relies on someone else to “complete” them is missing the point of the Gita: you are already whole. (2.13)

When you shift from chasing to radiating, your relationships change. You don’t sub-merge in someone else’s emotional storm. You don’t accept less than alignment. You become the quiet centre of your own world, inviting, not desperate; open, not clinging.

At every moment, remember you came for your soul’s purposeIn the hustle of relationships, emotions, desires, distractions, it’s easy to forget your deeper why. The Gita reminds us the world is a stage of impermanence and your real identity is not the body, the story, the role, but the enduring Self.

• “Just as the embodied soul passes through childhood, youth and old age, similarly it passes into another body. The wise are not deluded by this.” (2.13)
• “Whatever you do, whatever you eat, whatever you offer in sacrifice, whatever you give away, whatever austerity you perform, do that as an offering unto Me.” (9.27), Implication: every moment becomes sacred when aligned.
• If you’re lost for a while (and it’s okay to be), use it as the call to return to you again. Change is inevitable; whether you resist or let it happen.
• Let paths be carved through alignment, not desperation. Choose feelings, choices, people that connect to your purpose, not distract you from it.
• Everything other than your soul’s experience is illusion or passing: job titles, relationships, social media love, external approval. None of that define your worth.
• Redirect to your own self over and over again. That is the journey. The Gita says: self-knowledge, mastery of mind, discipline, these lead to freedom (mokṣa) not external accomplishments.

Because when you realise life is not about someone else completing you, but you realising your own completeness and purpose, you stop being hostage to emotional storms. You live from the anchor of your soul, and the rest becomes supplement, not survival.

Final thoughtsLoving deeply is beautiful. But when love makes you lose yourself, it stops being sacred and becomes scary. The Gītā’s wisdom offers four pillars:
Choose yourself first, you are your own friend.
Discipline = self-respect, routines, self-care, internal safety.
True magnetism is self-care + kindness, not chasing, you attract when you stand in your worth.
Purpose above all, your soul’s journey matters more than any relationship or role.
Walk gently, with courage. Protect your peace. Pursue your higher self. Let love add to your life, not take from it.“Stand firm in the Self. Rise by the Self.” Let this be your mantra. You are more than a role. You are the eternal witness. Choose yourself. Live your purpose. And let the world reflect your light.