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9 Minute Parenting Rule: How to maintain emotional attachment with children
Samira Vishwas | November 19, 2025 8:24 PM CST

  • What should parents do for their children?
  • How parents should be emotionally supportive of children
  • Parenting Tips

Despite their best efforts, parents often overlook the little things when raising their children, which can have a lasting impact on their behavior, confidence and mental development. Many child psychologists believe that nine minutes of the day are considered the most sensitive. If parents treat their children well during these nine minutes, their emotional and mental development can improve significantly.

American parenting expert Laura Markham According to Aha Parenting, these nine minutes come at three important times of a child’s day: 3 minutes right after waking up, 3 minutes after returning from school, and 3 minutes before bed. During these three periods, children’s minds are most emotionally active and they easily monitor their parents’ behavior. How these 9 minutes of the day, or 3-3-3 minutes, matter to children Parenting Tips Let us find out.

Behavior on waking in the morning

Most children’s mornings are full of rushes and mother’s scoldings. “Get up early!”, “You’re late!”, “Come brush your teeth!” Such words are heard in every home. Such phrases can create tension in children. If you gently hug your child when they wake up in the morning, say “good morning” with a smile, and just sit with them for a couple of minutes, their day starts on a positive note. Experts say it makes them feel safe, stabilizes their mood and increases their focus on studies.

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After coming from school

When a child comes home from school, they may have a lot on their mind – they’ve had a fight, they didn’t do well in a test or they’re just tired. If the parent is busy on the phone or simply says “change your clothes,” the child begins to withdraw emotionally.

Just three minutes of being treated with him, a sweet smile, a small hug, and a “how was your day?” A question or two like this immediately relaxes the brain and even the body of the child. These three minutes significantly strengthen their confidence and communication skills.

Time before bed

It’s night time For children Very sensitive. Swearing, getting angry or aloof during this time can disturb their sleep and fill their mind with anxiety. Just spend three minutes in a quiet environment before bed. For example, tell a light story, talk freely with them about their day, give your child a loving hug, or put your hand on their head. These small moments fill your child with security, confidence and positive thoughts. They become calm, happy and emotionally strong and have a restful sleep.

Why are these 9 minutes important?

  • It is during this period that children understand their parents’ feelings the most
  • These 9 minutes are stored in the heart of the child
  • This makes the child feel more secure, confident and happy
  • Reduced irritability and behavioral problems in children
  • The foundation of the emotional bond between parents and children is strengthened.

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How can parents apply these tips?

  • As soon as you wake up in the morning, stay away from your phone and give your child your undivided attention
  • On the way home from school, give your child a smile and a hug before doing anything
  • Before going to bed at night, turn off the TV or mobile phone and sit with your child for 3 minutes
  • Do not interrupt your child; Let them speak completely
  • Try making these 9 minutes a daily routine; This makes a huge difference in the long run

Gradually, you will notice that your child feels happier, calmer and more connected to you.


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