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What a lot of people don’t want to realize is that the success of a marriage isn’t about grand gestures or even about how perfectly compatible you are with your spouse. While those things might matter to some, what matters for everyone is how your spouse treats you, especially how husbands prioritize their wives.

It’s about making your wife feel valued and supported, as this will definitely contribute to the longevity and health of your marriage. Men who prioritize their wives usually have a much easier life because pouring energy into their partnership means they are rewarded with peace and happiness in return. Any man who’s happily married can tell you: happy wife, happy life. 

Put your wife first, and everything around you will take care of itself.

This is a sentiment that has been echoed by many people on social media. Author Adam Cam took to Instagram Threads with a message to all husbands, writing, “I dunno whose husband needs to hear this, but the more you wifey your wife, the more wifey your wife will wifey. Simple.”

When talking about marriage, many people have pointed out that a marriage doesn’t really ever serve a woman in the same way that it serves a man. Women are the ones carrying most of the emotional and mental load of the relationship, and they’re the ones whose comforts are often ignored.

According to an essay by Lyz Lenz adapted from her 2024 book “This American Ex-Wife: How I Ended My Marriage and Started My Life,” Lenz cited statistics to support her concerns. “These days, nearly 70 percent of divorces are initiated by women who are tired, fed up, exhausted, no longer in love. Women who are unhappy.”

Men who embrace the mindset of putting their wives first are usually the ones experiencing a more peaceful and rewarding marriage. They’re not constantly fighting against their spouse; they’re working with her to make things easier so she isn’t getting overwhelmed and experiencing burnout and resentment. A marriage shouldn’t be a wife doing all the work and essentially being a “single-married woman.”

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Research has shown that there is a link between marital quality and overall well-being.

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A study from Rutgers University found that the more content a wife is in a long-term marriage, the happier the husband is with his life, no matter how he feels about their marriage. The study was published in the Journal of Marriage and Family by Deborah Carr, a professor in the Department of Sociology, School of Arts and Science, and Vicki Freedman, a research professor at the University of Michigan Institute for Social Research.

Participants involved in the study, on average, rated their general life satisfaction high, typically five out of six points, with husbands rating their marriage slightly more positive than their wives. Findings also noted that while wives became less happy if their spouses became ill, the husbands’ happiness level didn’t change or reflect the same outcome if their wives got sick.

“I think it comes down to the fact that when a wife is satisfied with the marriage, she tends to do a lot more for her husband, which has a positive effect on his life,” said Car. “Men tend to be less vocal about their relationships, and their level of marital unhappiness might not be translated to their wives.” She continued, “The quality of a marriage is important because it provides a buffer against the health-depleting effects of later life stressors and helps couples manage difficult decisions regarding health and medical decision making.”

Honestly, the research makes sense. Couples who appreciate and respect each other are happier. They are also more willing to do more for each other. A wife who doesn’t have to nag her husband to simply unload the dishwasher without being asked is much more likely to have a happier disposition than a wife who is parenting her husband and basically cleaning up after him like a toddler. Guess which husband ends up being happier?

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Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.