A viral post on Reddit’s r/AmItheAsshole has sparked a wide discussion about workplace fairness, boundaries, and how child-free employees are often treated differently.
In the post, a 25-year-old woman explained that she had just passed her probation at a new job. According to her company’s policy, first-year employees get first priority when choosing Christmas leave, which meant she was officially approved to have Christmas Day off.
A coworker, who has children, later approached her asking to swap leave dates so she could spend Christmas with her kids. The poster said she doesn’t celebrate Christmas and didn’t have special plans, but she still didn’t want to give up something she had fairly earned. She politely declined the request.
After that, the coworker became “moody” around her, creating tension at work. The situation escalated when the employee’s own sister, who had always supported her child-free lifestyle, called her “selfish” for not giving the day to a working mother.
Feeling confused and pressured from both sides, the woman turned to the AITA community to ask whether refusing the swap made her the bad person in the situation.
The thread quickly exploded, drawing thousands of comments and ultimately being locked by moderators due to rule violations.
The top comments argued that while the employee was technically within her rights, her refusal felt unnecessarily unkind.
One highly upvoted reaction summed up the dominant sentiment: “If you can do something to help someone out with minimal disturbance to your own life and you choose not to, you’re an asshole.”
Another user compared the OP’s stance to petty everyday selfishness: “OP is the one leaving their cart behind my car at the grocery store.”
Others said the refusal showed a lack of empathy: “So often Reddit gets wrapped up in ‘you don’t owe anyone anything.’ Sure — but if you can help someone at no cost, choosing not to makes you an asshole.”
A smaller but noticeable group argued that annual leave is assigned fairly and shouldn’t depend on parental status.
One user wrote: “It’s OP’s scheduled days off — her days to use whether it’s important or not.”
Another pointed out that resentment often grows when parents expect preferential treatment: “This sub hates kids, but it also hates entitlement. A day off isn’t automatically more valuable because someone has children.”
In the post, a 25-year-old woman explained that she had just passed her probation at a new job. According to her company’s policy, first-year employees get first priority when choosing Christmas leave, which meant she was officially approved to have Christmas Day off.
A coworker, who has children, later approached her asking to swap leave dates so she could spend Christmas with her kids. The poster said she doesn’t celebrate Christmas and didn’t have special plans, but she still didn’t want to give up something she had fairly earned. She politely declined the request.
After that, the coworker became “moody” around her, creating tension at work. The situation escalated when the employee’s own sister, who had always supported her child-free lifestyle, called her “selfish” for not giving the day to a working mother.
Feeling confused and pressured from both sides, the woman turned to the AITA community to ask whether refusing the swap made her the bad person in the situation.
What the Reddit community said
The thread quickly exploded, drawing thousands of comments and ultimately being locked by moderators due to rule violations.
A majority called the OP “selfish”
The top comments argued that while the employee was technically within her rights, her refusal felt unnecessarily unkind.
One highly upvoted reaction summed up the dominant sentiment: “If you can do something to help someone out with minimal disturbance to your own life and you choose not to, you’re an asshole.”
Another user compared the OP’s stance to petty everyday selfishness: “OP is the one leaving their cart behind my car at the grocery store.”
Others said the refusal showed a lack of empathy: “So often Reddit gets wrapped up in ‘you don’t owe anyone anything.’ Sure — but if you can help someone at no cost, choosing not to makes you an asshole.”
Some defended the employee
A smaller but noticeable group argued that annual leave is assigned fairly and shouldn’t depend on parental status.
One user wrote: “It’s OP’s scheduled days off — her days to use whether it’s important or not.”
Another pointed out that resentment often grows when parents expect preferential treatment: “This sub hates kids, but it also hates entitlement. A day off isn’t automatically more valuable because someone has children.”
