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Some people don’t just give love, they pour themselves into others. They soften their tone so others don’t feel attacked. They lower their standards so people don’t feel distant. They shrink their needs so no one feels burdened. They pretend they don’t expect anything, just to keep someone a little longer, even if that person only comes in the dark and disappears in the light. And when the affection is inconsistent, when attention comes in sudden bursts and then silence, they don’t complain. They cry quietly, tell themselves, “It’s not serious,” and then go right back to offering more. Krishna’s teachings in the Gita speak exactly to this kind of silent suffering, the suffering of someone who loves without boundaries and breaks without witnesses.

You were not meant to become small so others feel comfortable

Don’t shrink yourself just to make others stay.

People who give unconditionally often believe: “If I stay soft, no one will leave.” So they accept half-love. They accept late-night affection with daytime avoidance. They accept inconsistency as if it’s devotion. You lower your self-respect hoping someone will see your heart. But Krishna makes one thing clear: “Mutual respect cannot grow in the shadow of self-neglect.”
When you shrink yourself, people don’t stay because they love you. They stay because it’s convenient. And convenience has never led to love.

Being chosen only in the dark is not love, it is loneliness disguised as connectionKrishna teaches Arjuna about people who come close only when they need something and vanish when it’s time to show up. You know this pattern well: A few intense moments, a message that makes your heart jump, a small gesture that feels like hope and then silence. You tell yourself, “It’s fine, I expected nothing.” But the truth is, your heart hoped every time. Krishna doesn’t judge this hope. He understands it.
But He also warns: “Attachment born in secrecy brings only sorrow.” You deserve to be chosen at 2 AM and 2 PM. Not hidden. Not half-held. Not temporarily valued.

Telling yourself ‘I expect nothing’ is a lie your heart pays for

Saying you expect nothing hides needs that still hurt.

You say, “It’s okay, I don’t need anything.” But your tears say otherwise. Your longing says otherwise. Your chest tightening after they leave says otherwise. Your silence after giving too much says otherwise. The Gita teaches that suppressing your needs, is not humility, it is self-abandonment. When you pretend you don’t want to be chosen, you break a part of yourself that desperately does.
Krishna would tell you: “Honesty with yourself is the beginning of healing.” Your heart wants consistency. It wants reciprocity. It wants to feel like someone’s choice, not someone’s convenience. And there is nothing wrong with that.

Guilt is not love, it is the trap that keeps you tied to people who won’t choose youYou worry about hurting them, even while they don’t worry about hurting you. You take responsibility for their emotions
and for your own heartbreak because somewhere you believe you are strong enough to carry both. But this is where Krishna is firm: “You are not responsible for the lessons others refuse to learn.” You catch yourself every time you fall and still blame yourself when they let you drop.
You protect people who would not even notice, if you disappeared from their lives tomorrow. This is not loyalty. This is fear. And fear is not the soil where love grows.

When you keep choosing people who don’t choose you, you abandon the one person you were meant to protect: yourself

Choosing those who reject you abandons your own self.

This is Krishna’s deepest truth: “The self becomes its own enemy, when it ignores its own suffering.” You think loving without limits makes you divine. But Krishna says divinity comes from awareness, not depletion. You deserve a love that does not require you, to silence your needs, lower your standards, or pretend you’re okay with being half-loved. And you deserve a peace that does not come, only after you have cried yourself empty.
Krishna’s guidance is not harsh, it is liberating: “Choose the one who chooses you. And if no one does, choose yourself until someone worthy arrives.”

The One Who Saves Everyone Must Learn to Save ThemselvesYou love deeply. You give sincerely. You show up wholeheartedly. But somewhere along the way, you taught yourself that this makes you unworthy of receiving. Krishna’s message for you is simple and life-changing: “You were not created to be an emotional shelter for people who would never protect you. You were created to rise, not to be used.” So stop lowering yourself for temporary affection. Stop carrying guilt that was never yours. Stop holding on to people who only hold you in the dark. You deserve a love that stays. A presence that is consistent. A care that doesn’t disappear after it gets what it wants. Until that arrives, save the one person you’ve abandoned for too long, yourself.