Top News

A young woman screamed six chilling words before completing the horrifying act of gouging out her own eyes outside a church.

Kaylee Muthart marks her 28th birthday today (December 2). While she maintains a remarkable positive outlook, she will be commemorating her special day without her vision.

This is because she permanently lost her eyesight at merely 20-years-old, when she mutilated her own eyes during a methamphetamine-fuelled psychotic breakdown. The former academic high-achiever believed the gruesome deed would draw her nearer to God and rescue humanity.

The young woman, who had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, was mere days from entering rehabilitation after her mother expressed worries about her daughter in February 2018. Kaylee, who harboured dreams of attending university, spiralled down a destructive path after smoking cannabis that had been contaminated with methamphetamine.

According to accounts, the day she lost her sight followed consuming a substantial quantity of meth, which coincided with a devastating relationship ending and a psychological collapse.

Still under the influence, Kaylee drifted towards a church on February 6, when she began experiencing hallucinations. She would subsequently document in Cosmopolitan how she was overwhelmed by the notion that she must "sacrifice something important to save the world".

Kaylee, who resides in Florida, continued: "I thought everything would end abruptly, and everyone would die, if I didn't tear out my eyes immediately. I don't know how I came to that conclusion, but I felt it was, without doubt, the right, rational thing to do immediately."

Shortly after, she began clawing out her own eyeballs during her methamphetamine-fuelled psychosis, with a local pastor hearing her agonising cries. While inflicting blindness upon herself, she screamed six chilling words: "I want to see the light!"

By the time Kaylee was subdued, her eyeballs had already been removed, and she was rushed to hospital where surgeons operated to extract the remaining tissue.

Kaylee remains a committed Christian today and has shown remarkable bravery following the loss of her vision. She attended a school for the blind and completed her secondary education before mastering skills such as braille and assistive technologies.

The American also entered rehabilitation, achieved sobriety, and discussed with this journalist what her existence might have been like had her self-harm never occurred.

Kaylee reflected: "That is the one thing I ponder a lot. I try not to think too deeply about it but I guess it does happen. I was probably thinking about that last night. But I guess when I open the window or crack the window for my cat in the morning, I wonder what it looks like out there.

"So when I open the window and stuff I think maybe God will help me see everything I have missed one day. I would like to see my loved ones get older, see what colour my cat is, I got him after I went blind.

"It's like, imagine someone explaining to you what a character on a TV show looked like. They could tell you all the different attributes but until you look at them you will never know, you just won't.

"Because I have seen before, my mind will not accept not seeing. They are called visual hallucinations and I kind of think of that as God not letting me be in the darkness. Even when you are blind it is not dark. I visualise like silhouettes of what I think is there. If I reach for it and it is incorrect it will change like that.

"It is weird to explain but I know what I am talking about because I have seen before. I get nervous trying to explain it because I think nobody will know what I am talking about given how I lost my sight.

"Will they think I am crazy?"

Kaylee now wears artificial eyes and she also disclosed that losing her sight was somewhat of a "blessing" because it makes relapsing nearly impossible, and that ultimately, being sightless was more preferable than being dependent on drugs.