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There’s nothing that can get messier faster than dealing with family drama, especially when it comes to in-laws. Some people treat their spouses’ parents and family as if they’re nothing but dust, while others make sure to include their in-laws in every family outing and experience. But one grandma recently went viral after calling out the latter’s mindset when it comes to in-laws, pointing out that in-laws should be considered family.

In a video, Grandma Lori said it blows her mind how some families treat their in-laws, and it’s a concept that she just can’t wrap her head around. From her video, many people seemed to agree with her opinion, sparking a conversation about the importance of including in-laws.

A grandma doesn’t understand how some people don’t consider in-laws real family.

“So my daughter comes to me last week and says, ‘Mom, I want to go to my fiancé’s family’s house for Thanksgiving,’ and she thought I was going to be upset, and I wasn’t,” Lori began in her video.

She made sure her daughter knew that she should never feel guilty for choosing her husband-to-be and his family. She explained that while on TikTok, she’s seen numerous videos from women talking about how it needs to be normalized for parents to go on family vacations without their kids’ spouses. Lori admitted that it’s just a concept that makes zero sense to her.

“I don’t understand the concept of not considering your in-laws, your children’s spouses, as family. And that has to be the only way you can think of it because if you’re going on a family vacation but you’re excluding them on purpose, then you’re not considering them family,” Lori continued. 

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The grandma said excluding adult children’s spouses from family activities is ‘garbage human behavior.’

PeopleImages | Shutterstock

Lori reminisced about her own childhood, sharing that she didn’t have much of a family unit growing up. Now that she does, she can’t even consider the idea of excluding anyone. Whether they’re immediate or extended, they’re still considered family.

Many people wholeheartedly agreed with Lori’s perspective, pointing out that they’re not in competition with their children’s spouses and families, and there’s more than enough love to go around without having to alienate anyone. The relationships with in-laws can be complicated, but they’re only complicated when people decide to make them that way.

Most of the tension doesn’t even come from actual incompatibility but from stubbornness. Many parents of adult children also struggle with change, and that makes spending genuine time together difficult. Welcoming in-laws doesn’t mean erasing boundaries, either, or not pointing out red-flag behavior. It’s just about being able to treat them as real family because that’s what they are. 

At the end of the day, Lori’s opinion about how in-laws should be treated can hopefully open up other older parents’ minds to the fact that the spouses of their kids are not the enemy. Bonds can be made stronger by just making a little more room in your life and your heart for them.

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Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.