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Without revealing her identity on Reddit, a 25-year-old girl told the story of her relationship. She wrote that I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for the last 5 years. There has never been any major fight or problem between us, everything has been quite smooth. But for the last one year or so, I am not feeling attracted towards him at all.

The first step towards love was mine

This thing surprises me myself, because in the beginning I was the one who took the first step. I found him very smart and attractive. Our sexual intimacy was also good. But now the situation is such that I do not feel any sexual chemistry with her. When he tries to come close to me, hold my hand, try to kiss or do any intimate move, I feel uncomfortable inside, sometimes I pull myself back.

There is love, but no attraction

He also has some personality traits that I don't like. Without sounding arrogant, I want to say that I feel that the intellectual level of both of us does not match. But the biggest problem is the complete loss of connection, chemistry and attraction between us. I love her, I care about her a lot, but the truth is that I am not “in love” with her.

Then why are you not able to leave the relationship?

I am stuck in this relationship because he is a very kind, sensitive and gentle person. I have seen many abusive men in my life, so him being like this means a lot to me. I am afraid that I may never find such a nice, calm and safe person again. I once broke up with him for the same reason, but after that I felt so sad and broken that I came back to the same relationship.

my question is

Is it normal for this to happen in long relationships? Is it common for sexual chemistry to wane after a few years? Or is it a sign that this relationship is no longer for me? Should I give up my sexual needs, attraction and intellectual connections, please let me know.