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If you were the type of person who fit in with every group growing up, having a variety of friends rather than one core group, you probably have some rare and enviable traits today. 

A business advisor named Christian posted a video asserting that high school students who fit in with everyone usually develop rare traits in adulthood, such as relatability and empathy, giving them a certain je ne sais quoi that’s somewhat untranslatable, but also irresistible. These social butterflies develop clout through their sincerity, and it’s impossible not to be drawn to them.

People who fit in with every group growing up usually develop 4 rare traits as adults:

1. They are relatable

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Social people know how to connect through commonality. Even if your interests are vastly different, people who grew up fitting in with all different types of people learn that there’s always a way to find common ground. Christian explained, “No matter what room you are in, you should be able to relate to that person on at least a baseline level about anything: TV, movies, sports, athletics, the economy.” Small talk breaks the ice, allowing deeper conversation and connection.

As communication expert  Dr. Carol Morgan explained, “They make others feel important! They keep it positive and happy! It’s actually pretty simple.” The more you learn about a person, the more you show someone that you want to hear more. A flowing conversation involves relating to and exchanging opinions. Sharing your ideas roots a relationship in honesty and mutual respect.

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2. They are charismatic

A charismatic person highlights the importance of individuality as admirable and entertaining. People who fit in with every group growing up have developed a natural charisma that makes the people they meet, even briefly, look forward to seeing and talking with them again. Christian asserted that being charismatic makes people “want to work with you at a professional level: hire you, buy your products, partner with you, bring you into their company.” 

This person is personable, an initiator who exudes confidence and admiration, and wants to talk to those around them. Author and researcher Georgina Guthrie explained that charismatic people know how to ask the right questions and when. She said, “Probing questions [are] always the best route to take — especially in the workplace, where people may need a little more encouragement to open up.” Making a space safe and comfortable is the environment in which charismatic people thrive and where they shine.

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3. They have empathy

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People who fit in with every group growing up usually develop the rare trait of emotional intelligence, especially in empathy and compassion. Empathy begins with active listening. Guthrie explained listening as “showing the speaker you’re paying attention to what they’re saying, processing it, and responding appropriately.”

By listening to others, the social person can amplify their connection with the person they’re talking to. Prioritizing this conversation with their full attention demonstrates importance. Other traits, like patience, humility, and decorum, beam through the space they create for you.

Christian asserted that through empathy, “You will have more friends. You will have more connections. You will have a better dating life.”

4. They are knowledgeable about a variety of things

People who fit in with all different groups when growing up have layers of knowledge thanks to the variety of their connections. That means they have a variety of interests and experiences. Christian insisted that people should take a page from their book and “Get somewhat decent at a ton of different things (golf, tennis, sports, movies, Netflix, the news, politics) and you will be much better off in your career and in your life.”

Faking it until you make it by exploring yourself and gaining confidence in that expertise will transform your knowledge into becoming a jack-of-all-trades. When you expose yourself to different cultures and different lifestyles, different interests take hold, and you begin to yearn for that knowledge. 

Moreover, social knowledge can exist in simple hospitality. Dr. Morgan shared a story about her father’s practice of dentistry, a profession that depends on expertise in teeth, and how it wasn’t necessarily successful through dentistry alone but through human knowledge and memory. Her father “remembered the details of his patients’ lives. And because he did that, they liked him and kept coming back.” Remembering all the little things about a person’s life is a lovely quality to have.

Human beings are social people. By aligning yourself with self-grown confidence and charisma, you will be remembered, liked, and personable in every setting you enter. Once that happens, success in love, life, and business usually follows.

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Emi Magaña is a writer from Los Angeles with a bachelor’s in English. She covers entertainment, news, and the real human experience.