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Rayner isn't ready, and never will be. And the reason is too funny for words. Politically, Keir Starmer is finished. Watching him apologise five times in a grovelling speech yesterday was plain embarrassing. This is the man who promised to restore honesty, integrity and trust to Westminster after 14 years of Tory chaos. And then appointed the sleaziest politician of our age as Britain's ambassador to the United States, fully aware of what he was like.

Giving Peter Mandelson the job, knowing about his long friendship with sex-trafficking paedophile financier Jeffrey Epstein, is indefensible. Pretending to be shocked that Westminster's most notorious spinner lied to him is just daft. Trying to pin the blame on security service failures is sickening.

Starmer calling Mandelson a liar is itself richly comic, given that the PM has serious form on this front. Just months after the election I wrote: "All politicians are economical with the truth but Keir Starmer has lifted lying to a new level." I warned he wouldn't stop. He hasn't.

Starmer lied to voters repeatedly during the election. He promised Labour wouldn't hike taxes on working people, then his Chancellor hiked both National Insurance and income tax. He publicly backed farmers, businesses and WASPI women, then turned on them.

He lied about missing a £22bn black hole, misrepresented the Chagos deal, and now complains about being misled by Peter Mandelson, a man whose entire career has been built on twisting the truth.

Voters have had enough. Starmer is the most unpopular PM on record. Even Labour MPs are sick of him, despite many owing their seats to his landslide. Westminster plots are swirling but there's a problem. And until Labour resolves it, Starmer will remain nailed to his perch, like the dead parrot he is.

Rayner is itching to stick the knife in, but can't. And the reason is hilarious. The woman waiting in the wings to replace its lying leader is herself under investigation for lying about her tax return. How exactly is that meant to be an improvement?

Rayner arranged the purchase of her £800,000 second home in Hove in a way that avoided a £40,000 stamp duty bill. Her own supporters privately admit she can't move against Starmer until the HMRC inquiry into her probity is concluded.

She's desperate to duplicitously stab Starmer in the back, but is thwarted by her own duplicity. It's ridiculous.

And so is this. Her spokesperson said yesterday: "Angela said she would cooperate fully with HMRC and continues to do so. A running commentary is not helpful."

It may not be helpful, but it's irresistible. Had Rayner cooperated fully with HMRC at point of purchase, by paying what she owed, there would be nothing to comment on. It's no good boasting about cooperating with the tax authorities AFTER you've been found out.

So this is how Labour plans to restore its reputation for honesty and integrity. By replacing a serial liar who lied about a serial liar with a suspected tax liar. I'm laughing, but there's nothing funny about it at all. Ultimately, the joke is on us, for putting up with this nonsense.

But there is one bright side. This will always hang over Rayner. If she replaces Starmer under current circumstances, Labour will turn into a national joke.