At some point, many women wonder if what they want from life is really what they want. This could be a desire for a better job, more financial freedom, personal space, acknowledgment of their work, or just a more fulfilling life. All these things are normal. Changes and development are aspects of being human. However, instead of getting thrilled about new opportunities, lots of ladies end up feeling guilty. They might even start to justify or minimize their dreams when talking to others, as if wanting more is something that needs a reason or an apology. Dr. Chandni Tugnait, MD (A.M), Psychotherapist, Life Alchemist, Coach & Healer says that this emotion rarely comes out of the blue. Most of the time, it is a consequence of the societal expectations to which women are exposed and the way women are brought up to see their roles in life.
Women Feel The Pressure To Always Be GratefulWomen often get told to appreciate what they already have. In fact, they might be hearing messages that get them to value stability, family, or comfort and steer clear of any risks that might upset the balance. Of course, gratitude matters a lot, but sometimes, it may even lead to one becoming less motivated to change. According to Dr. Tugnait, loving where you are in life and desiring more are not mutually exclusive. A person can be grateful for their situation, yet wish to develop themselves professionally, emotionally, or financially. Put simply, ambition is not the opposite of gratitude. They can both be present at the same time.
Women Managing Multiple Roles At OnceMany women juggle numerous roles simultaneously. A woman can be, for example, a professional, a daughter, a partner, a caregiver, and a friend, all in one day. Therefore, their choices are often influenced by the possible impact on others. If a new opportunity comes up, say a promotion, a new project, or even a personal goal, a few women may think that going after this might mean less time for others. The fear of disappointing someone can make one reluctant, even when the opportunity is really a step towards one’s own development. Gradually, this emotional responsibility can make the very idea of ambition seem perplexing rather than something to look forward to.
The Pressure To Be Perfect And Agreeable
One more reason why guilt can surface is the anticipation that ladies not only are to do well, but also should look as if they are laid back and agreeable. Quite a few women work hard to do a good job at their workplace, but at the same time give the impression that they are not bossy or difficult. Dr. Tugnait remarks that the effort to maintain a balance between being capable and still being liked can wear one out. Women may feel that they have to make themselves worthy of recognition without demanding too much. The moment they set their sights on more significant objectives, it might seem to them as if they are violating this tacit rule. They might briefly think that reaching out for a bigger future would be seen as a step forward, but this is more than likely a worry about how it might be judged.
Growing Up With The Idea Of SelflessnessMany girls are being told since their childhood that caring, patience, and being ready to tune oneself for others are the qualities for which one has to be praised. And these virtues, of course, a person cannot do without. And, at the same time, such a way of thinking can bring a notion that the only way to be good is always to put others before oneself. And unfortunately, this message can be so firmly internalized that, when women even think about their own dreams or independence, they would be uneasy, as if, by thinking, they are going to ask for too much. Dr. Tugnait states that it is not a fact of selfishness if one wants to grow personally, may have time for oneself, and desires to be professionally successful. In fact, such wishes are very natural.
Fear Of JudgementWomen often get the feeling that their decisions are always subject to scrutiny. The public may doubt their dedication to family if they concentrate on their careers. They may even be branded as overambitious if they focus on personal development. So, a lot of women end up doubting their own wishes before anyone else even does. The mere thought of being criticized or misunderstood can turn ambition into a kind of bad thing gradually. Wanting more out of life isnt a mistake. It is often a sign of self-knowledge and readiness to change. Women who want more arent disowning their present lives. They are simply admitting that their dreams and capabilities are still changing. Framing ambition this way, the accompanying guilt diminishes over time. Leaving behind an even stronger force: the liberty to develop, unapologetically, without any excuse.
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The post Why Do Women Feel Guilty for Wanting More in Life? Psychotherapist Explains first appeared on MissMalini.
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