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Something is rotten in the state of Denmark, and it's not just the jars of kombucha in Noma's fermentation lab. René Redzepi, the star chef behind Copenhagen's world-famous three-Michelin-star restaurant, has been roasted by dozens of former employees who have accused him of violent behaviour in a damning New York Times article.

Redzepi attained near-godlike status after topping The World's 50 Best Restaurants list five times. For years, ambitious young chefs queued up for the chance to work in his kitchen, many willing to do so for free just for the experience.

Verbal abuse is par for the course, but allegations of physical abuse have surfaced, driven in part by a former employee who began sharing stories about Redzepi's behaviour on social media. And it would appear he is allegedly as inventive in his bullying techniques as in his foraged Nordic cuisine.

If you thought the psychopathic chef played by Ralph Fiennes in foodie thriller The Menu was over the top, Redzepi's reported deranged outbursts make it look like docu-realism. Ex-staff claim that if one person made a mistake, he would walk down the line screaming in their faces and punching them.

They say sometimes he would crouch underneath the counters, hidden from the view of diners, and jab chefs' legs with a barbecue fork during service. One former cook said Redzepi once grabbed him by the apron straps, slammed him against a wall, and punched him twice in the stomach for leaving a tweezer mark on a flower petal while plating a dish.

According to another anecdote, when a sous chef played a techno track in the back kitchen that Redzepi didn't like, he allegedly marched the entire brigade out into the cold and made them stand in a circle. The chef was then forced to announce that he fellates DJs to appease his lunatic boss, before they were allowed back inside to resume trimming pine cones, plucking raspberry hairs, or combing moss fronds or what-ever absurd mise en place they were prepping.

Redzepi has apologised but he added that he didn't "recognise all details". Besides, he closed the restaurant a couple of years ago and now runs sell-out pop up events at more than £1,000 a seat.

The food he produced was, by all accounts, extraordinary. Innovative, original, (if unappetising) dishes such as shrimp with live wood ants, reindeer brain custard and herby milk skin. Yet for a chef capable of such radical creativity, he fell back on the laziest culinary cliché: the shouty, abusive head chef.

Anyone ever told him, it's just a bit of dinner mate?

Crufts gets plenty of flak, much of it deserved, over the health problems caused by intensive breeding.

The Kennel Club has recently introduced revised breed standards and mandatory health checks, and pedigree dogs can be incredibly beautiful, especially when they are bred to be healthy, strong and clever, rather than to resemble some grotesque wheezing cartoon brought to life.

But the best in show, for me, was the flyball. It is my kind of sport.

A relay race for very eager dogs, best out of three, and the rounds are so quick that the game is over in about three minutes.

Pure breed, mongrel, old or young, doesn't matter. All the dogs clearly love it. They can barely contain themselves - tongues dangling and bodies straining on their lead the moment they see the track.

By the time the Junkyard Dogs lifted the trophy barely 15 minutes after first discovering the sport, I was already talking like an expert pundit giving post-game analysis: "For me, Junkyard Dogs just wanted it more today. Their handovers were cleaner, the turns off the box were sharper, and that's what makes the difference at this level.

"The Sharks gave it a real go, some lovely players there, particularly that lurcher on the last leg. Beautiful run. But Junkyard were absolutely clinical when it mattered."

Clare, Claudia - if you need an extra pair of hands presenting next year, you know where I am.

Swiss officials have voted to keep the little red penis on the bear that features on the coat of arms of the city of Bern.

Despite having offended absolutely nobody since the 15th century, it is heartening to see democracy applied with such rigour to weenie matters.