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Sigmund Freud would have had a field day with Zack Polanski: born David Paulden, he changed his name back to its original Jewish roots and then presides over a party that has poisonous antisemitism running through its veins. Self-loathing? Very long-lived case of rebellion against his parents? No matter. As you stand, pencil poised to mark the spot in the ballot booth today, just remember that the Green Party wants to decriminalise all drugs including heroin, open the borders to unbridled and unchecked immigration, give all those immigrants free housing, get Britain to pay billions in slavery reparations, take Britain out of NATO, make pornography more "accessible", as if it isn't already there at the touch of a button and when asked: "Can a woman have a penis", replied: "Yes."

And that's even before you take on board the narrative about Gaza and the utterly cynical alliance with hard line Islamists who might have a rather different answer to that last one. Zack is a nutski, and a dangerous one at that. Yes, Labour deserves every bit of the hammering it is about to receive. But only an anti-British nihilist would vote for Zack.

Congratulations are in order!

Many congratulations to Jemima Goldsmith: she is to marry Cameron O'Reilly, her beau of a year. To put it bluntly, he sounds suitable: he is a multi-millionaire financier based in Switzerland.

Jemima has been involved with some pretty ropey blokes in the past - including, unbelievably, Russell Brand - while Jemima's father, the late Sir James Goldsmith, famously said that her ex, Pakistani politician Imran Khan, would "make a very good first husband." Let's hope this one lasts.

Of course, this is what a Green spends her time doing...

Antoinette Fernandez is the "reparations officer" for the Green Party's Global Majority Greens and is campaigning for Britain to repay billions of pounds for slavery. Of course she is.

She is also the daughter of Abiola Dosunmu, aka the Queen Mother of Lagos, a descendant of the Obas (kings) of Lagos, a royal family that was a major slave trader. Meanwhile, her father, Antonio Deinde Fernandez, was a business magnate said to be worth £6.5 billion when he died in 2015. Perhaps she'd like to put some of those billions into reparations herself?

No wonder this story ended the way it did

Apropos last week's dilemma as to whether I should see the film Michael, I did. Put it this way: in Belfast there's a mural of Bobby Sands, which makes him look like a cross between David Cassidy and St Francis of Assisi.

The film does much the same for MJ. But it does somehow convey the extraordinary story of a young boy in a dirt poor family performing amateur nights in Gary, Indiana, rising to the utter and total hysteria surrounding the 20-something superstar.

No wonder the bloke lost his marbles; I defy anyone, no matter how saintly, to survive that unscathed.

Have you noticed this?

Happy 11th Birthday, Princess Charlotte. Doesn't she look more and more like her paternal great-grandmother every day?

Sorry, but you're just plain wrong

In an increasingly dark world, there is one spot of light: Aidan Turner and his moustache. He says his wife doesn't like it. She's mad.

This week's quote

"It is useless to try to hold a person to anything he says while he's madly in love, drunk, or running for office." - Shirley MacLaine

One of the good guys!

Sometimes the most unlikely heroes emerge at a time of crisis: step forward Boy George. The singer has been vocal in support of the Jewish community, voiced horror at the stabbings in Golders Green and is generally showing himself to be one of the good guys. At times like this, these things matter. Let us hope more of his fellow celebs follow suit.