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For years, Sushant Divgikar has been one of India's most visible voices for LGBTQIA+ rights and self-expression. In this deeply emotional interview, the singer, performer and activist opens up for the very first time about beginning her medical transition , months of consultations with doctors, starting hormone replacement therapy , and why this journey has been the greatest gift she has ever given herself. Excerpts...

You have spoken about living authentically for years, but choosing to medically transition is a tough and irreversible decision. What was the emotional journey that finally brought you to this moment?
I had been considering it for a very long time and was in talks with my doctors. The first thing I did was consult mental health professionals because these processes are irreversible, and I needed to know that I was absolutely sure. I am doing this for me, and I didn't want this big decision to be influenced by what people would think. After a lot of deliberation, my doctors told me I was ready for HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy). They studied my behavioural patterns, my body and my hormonal profile. Once everyone gave me the green signal, I knew I was ready. I'm now about five months into hormone replacement therapy and so far, everything is going well.

You were planning to transition earlier, so what delayed the process?
There were multiple reasons. I was doing Thank You For Coming, and they wanted me to look like a man. I really felt very dysphoric. Honestly, this is the first time I'm sharing this publicly. I was supposed to transition in 2023, but I put it on hold because of the film. Then I had a couple of health scares. My liver and blood profile weren’t good, and I was diagnosed with anaemia and iron deficiency. So, I had to take a pause. When I finally got the green signal from everyone, I was the most ecstatic and said…let's do this. By 2027, I think I'll be comfortably and fully transitioned. I turned a year older on July 2 and this is probably the best birthday gift I could have given myself. I will be changing to Rani Sushant Divgikar. I will keep my birth name and surname as part of my name going forward because m parents named me Sushant and I will always be their Sushu and I will keep my name Rani because the people chose me as their queen and gave me so much love as Rani.

Many transgender people carry the weight of wondering, 'What if I had done this sooner?' Did you ever struggle with those thoughts, and how have you made peace with your own timeline?
I actually told my psychiatrist Dr Armaan Pandey that sometimes I feel I should have transitioned earlier. He said something beautiful. He told me, "The fact that you could live two genders in one life, how many people get to do that?" I completely agreed. I even told my mother jokingly that maybe my body would have been fitter had I transitioned younger. Honestly, I don't think I've ever been fitter or looked more gorgeous. I think it's this inner glow that's translating to my outer self. People like Saisha Shinde, who transitioned in her 40s, have shown us that it's never about age.

As a singer, your voice is more than just your identity. Was losing your voice ever one of your biggest fears?
That’s one thing I asked my doctor, whether my voice would change. A lot of people think estrogen changes your voice, but that's a misconception. When you transition from female to male, your voice changes because of the testosterone. But when it's from male to female, your voice doesn't change. I'm thankful because I would never want to lose this voice. God has given me this beautiful gift, and I want to keep performing till my last day.

What would you like to tell people who are contemplating transitioning?
I want the community to know one thing - it's never too late. Nobody's paying your bills. When you're lying on that hospital bed, whether it's for a surgery, a cancer scare or anything else, it's you. Even if there are people who love you, at the end of the day, it's your life. So do it for you. I just want to tell every person who's deliberating and contemplating transitioning - do it only and only for you, and do it at your own time.

What changes have you experienced over the past few months, both physically and emotionally due to your hormone replacement therapy?
My breasts are growing. The testosterone blockers bring my testosterone levels almost down to zero, and I take estrogen tablets every day. When your body is introduced to estrogen, it naturally starts becoming more feminine. Your skin becomes softer and your body changes.