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Once upon a time, the world felt joyous. The world was fully of mystery and magic. For kids, this is usually easy, but as adults, that joyful feeling often only happens when they feel supported and safe.

It’s natural for magical thinking to decrease as time passes, but sometimes it takes a person’s capacity for joy with it. The less supported people feel, the more likely they are to lose their joy. It’s sad, but if you look for these phrases, you can spot the signs of lost joy early.

Phrases people who are slowly losing their capacity for joy usually say in casual conversation

1. ‘I don’t have the energy for that anymore’

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People who are no longer happy feel often like the energy has been zapped out of them. They’re burned out from their environment and feel overworked and under-appreciated. While they want to give you their best self, when they’re losing their joy, it feels to them like they can’t.

One way or another, they’re feeling overwhelmed. Now, highly anxious, depressed, and exhausted due to burnout, folks who are losing their joy can do nothing but pull away from everyone and everything. If you love someone going through this, try not to take it personally, but maybe consider helping them find their joy again by stopping by with a little surprise or inviting them to do something low-energy but fun.

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2. ‘It’s nice, I guess’

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They want to be happy; they really do. In an ideal world, they’d put their best foot forward and stay positive. But as they lose their capacity for joy, everything just looks meh. They know it’s bland, but that’s the best they can muster.

They’re already weighed down by everything that seems to be going wrong. Now, in survival mode, they aren’t focused on counting their blessings.

So adjust your expectations and don’t expect sad people to celebrate with you any time soon. Instead, try to adjust your expectations and meet them in the grey world where they’re living and see if you can give them a temporary reprieve.

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3. ‘Everything feels kinda pointless lately’

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Once someone is at their lowest, it’s hard to see the bright side. No matter what they do, it all feels meaningless. That’s why they’ll often say, “Everything feels kinda pointless lately.”

No, they aren’t being dramatic, this is a sign of depression or burnout (or both). Depression isn’t just being sad and burnout isn’t just being tired. In fact, diminished sense of pleasure or interest in activities is a symptom that’s hard to deal with.

This is why it’s important to get help. While people may think they can get over it, finding joy in life again sometimes takes professional help.

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4. ‘I’m just going through the motions’

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Those who are losing joy aren’t living life. Like they’ll tell you, they’re just going through the motions. They want to be passionate and rediscover their happiness, but it’s a lot easier said than done. As life weighs them down, all they can do is take it day by day.

This is why they’re so non-chalant when they respond. They could sit there and write you a paragraph about how they’ve been feeling. But sometimes, they don’t have the energy to describe what they’ve been going through.

: Someone Who’s Running Out Of People They Actually Like Usually Says 10 Phrases In Casual Conversation

5. ‘Nothing sounds fun anymore’

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It doesn’t matter what happens in their life. The sky can explode, and penguins can fly. Without fail, people who are struggling to find joy will almost always say, “Nothing sounds fun anymore.” They want to be excited, but if they’re dealing with depression, excitement is fleeting.

Due to their numbness and exhaustion, they can’t find joy in life. It sucks, but everything feels the same: pointless. This is why people who say this phrase should seek professional help. Even if they feel like they’re being dramatic, numbness in any capacity is a sign that something is seriously wrong.

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6. ‘There’s nothing to look forward to’

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Life doesn’t just feel pointless, it feels directionless. No matter how they look at it, people who are losing joy often say, “There’s nothing to look forward to.” They aren’t trying to be a downer, but with no help, they’re left feeling hopeless. Sure, they could talk to a friend, but vulnerability isn’t always easy, especially for men who feel a lot of pressure to seem tough.

As licensed clinical psychologist Jennifer Caspari, Ph.D. writes, “It is not easy to take emotional risks and open ourselves up to the possibility of being hurt.” This is why folks choose to stay silent. Even if it makes them look negative, they’d rather be negative than confront how they feel.

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7. ‘I guess I’ve just grown out of that hobby’

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It isn’t that they’ve grown bored of their hobbies, it’s just that they don’t know how to explain what they’re really feeling, which is a loss of interest in things they once loved.

Often this feeling comes along with being trapped in survival mode, and many people these days are living in survival mode 24/7. When they’re struggling and taking it day by day, they can’t focus on anything else.

Most of the time, they want to be engaged and passionate with their hobbies, but combined with their burnout, it feels like survival is enough right now.

And as a bystander, there’s really nothing you can do but be supportive. If you hear someone say this, the best thing you can do is encourage them to get professional help. Remind them that everyone needs help and support sometimes, and therapists are just another type of expert professional like a plumber or an electrician you call when your pipes or switches aren’t working.

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8. ‘I miss how things used to be’

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Once upon a time, they were happy, and they remember it well. Sure, their life might not have been perfect, but they found joy in their day-to-day life. Maybe it was a time when, between their family and their relationships, they felt genuinely felt supported. Unfortunately, that support didn’t last forever. It sucks, but relationships can change.

When you’re deep in a burned-out, sad phase of life it often feels like minute you’re happy, and the next you’re alone. That’s why people who are losing their capacity to be happy can’t help but say, “I miss how things used to be.”

In truth, it isn’t one memory that makes them nostalgic. They really just miss how supported people used to make them feel.

That’s why, if someone you know is saying things like this, it’s a good time to step in and spend time with them. If they don’t want to go out, plan a movie night at their house (or yours). If they don’t want to go to a restaurant, bring a few things they love to them.

Little things like this don’t cure (or even treat) depression, but they can go a long way in making someone feel hopeful enough to get to a better place.

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Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.