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Challenges after breakup

After a breakup, we are often advised to block our ex, stop communicating with them, and let time take its course. But what if despite all this you are not able to forget them? You've blocked them, haven't talked to them for days, yet suddenly seeing one of their posts brings back those old memories.

What are you really missing?

Many times, after a breakup, we remember the ideal form of that person, which we have created in our mind, more than their actual form. Happy moments come to mind again and again, like their talks, the time we spent together and the future we imagined with them. At the same time, we forget those things which made us sad. Therefore, to move forward, it is not only necessary to create distance, but also to understand that ideal form.

Step 1: Write down the truth about the relationship

Instead of just remembering good memories, look at the whole picture of the relationship. When did they hurt you? Which promises remained unfulfilled? When did you feel small? Keep these things written down. When you remember them at night, read that list. This will remind you that you are moving forward, leaving behind not just the good moments, but the entire story.

Step 2: Give 20 minutes to the urge to message

When you feel like messaging them, don't tell yourself, “I would never message.” Just say – not now, after 20 minutes. Set a timer and do something else during this time. Take a walk, listen to music, or talk to a friend. Sometimes the urge to message comes like a wave. After some time it reduces on its own.

Step 3: Let go of the future

In a breakup we not only lose a person, but also the life we ​​had imagined with them. The loss of marriage, home, family or dreams of years spent together – it also hurts. So ask yourself, “Am I missing them or the life I had with them?” Understanding this difference can help in moving forward.

Step Four: Start Reclaiming Your Life

Don't wait until you feel better. First bring changes in your life. Create a new routine. Go to the gym, meet friends, start an old hobby or learn something new. You may not feel like it in the beginning, but gradually your mind will start understanding that peace and happiness are not to that person only.

one day everything will be normal

Emotional detachment does not occur suddenly. One day you will realize that the whole day passed and you did not think about them. Then when you hear his name, your heart will not beat like before. You won't be pretending to forget them, but you will actually be less concerned about them. This is the right way to move forward.