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The modern dating world isn’t easy. While there are plenty of good guys out there, there are some who struggle to understand what they’ve got and take it for granted. One dating strategist on social media described why this happens and explained what to keep in mind to avoid letting men take you for granted.

A dating strategist shared that women who are never taken for granted understand that ‘men don’t respond to words.’

Dating strategist Alejandra Maria posted a video on TikTok explaining the one thing she found in common among women who don’t let men take them for granted. She said it doesn’t have anything to do with their appearance, but more to do with their actions.

Alejandra highlighted the fact that men and women communicate very differently. Women respond better to words, so when a woman becomes upset with a man, she tries to verbalize her feelings through lengthy texts and speeches because she sees it as the most effective form of communication. However, men don’t respond to words in the same way that women do.

Men become triggered by their ego when they feel challenged, which causes resistance and makes them reluctant to change their actions. Alejandra said that what causes a bigger reaction from men is making them realize the real possibility of losing you.

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Men only feel a sense of urgency when faced with the guarantee of negative consequences for their inaction.

Alejandra said, “A powerful woman wins through action, not arguments.” By setting firm boundaries and showing that she’s willing to walk away, the woman holds the power in the relationship. Of course, some men are willing to let a woman walk away and not care. Those men were not truly invested in the relationship, and the woman will be saving herself from future heartbreak.

In an opinion piece for The Centre for Male Psychology, Peter Wright explained, “There I learned that while people can express emotions via physical acts and gestures, or alternatively by conversing about emotional issues, men tend to specialise more in action-based regulation of emotion than do women who tend to specialise more in verbal regulation of emotions.”

Men and women communicate differently, and there’s no denying that fact. This isn’t a matter of one gender being more talkative than the other, either. Women can and do communicate more effectively regarding emotions. Men do not. That simple fact means, according to Alejandra, that in order to convey the depth of her feelings, a woman must use action, or at the very least, actionable words.

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Men’s brains process emotions differently from women’s brains.

Therapy for Dudesan online men’s counseling service, explained, “The part of the brain responsible for emotional regulation — the limbic system — is generally smaller in men. This doesn’t mean men lack emotions; it simply means we tend to process and express them in a more action-oriented way.”

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Men prefer to burn off stress or frustration through physical activity, such as working, exercising, or completing projects. There’s nothing wrong with using emotions to fuel action, but the problem comes when those emotions are avoided, rather than processed.

Unexpressed emotions can show up later in hurtful ways, such as being constantly irritable or angry, withdrawing from relationships with friends and family, and engaging in unhealthy coping habits. Though men are often told to “suck it up and deal with it,” there are numerous resources available to help men understand their emotions and change how they react.

The difference in communication is not an excuse for choosing to take your partner for granted, but knowing that the differences exist should and could help men and women learn to communicate with each other more effectively and, at the very least, understand where each other is coming from.

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Kayla Asbach is a writer currently working on her bachelor’s degree at the University of Central Florida. She covers relationships, psychology, self-help, pop culture, and human interest topics.