Top News

A woman’s family was divided after she accused her parents of loving their biological grandchild more than their adopted ones. The woman’s claims arose after a disagreement over a holiday gift exchange, where she believed that her adopted children were treated unfairly compared to her biological daughter at the hands of her parents. 

The woman’s parents argued that she was acting “greedy” and ungrateful, and they actually have a point. When the cost of each gift was added up, it was obvious that there was no favoritism. 

The woman criticized her parents for giving her biological daughter more Christmas gifts than her adopted children. 

Sharing her story on the subreddit r/AITA, the 41-year-old woman revealed that she has three children: 17-year-old Jane, 16-year-old Rachel, and 14-year-old Dave. While Jane is her biological daughter, the woman said that Rachel and Dave are her husband’s children from a previous marriage, whom she adopted. 

Every year around Christmas time, the woman’s parents asked her children to write a list of the gifts they wanted to make shopping easier. On Christmas Day, the woman, her husband, and their children met up with her parents for dinner, where they exchanged gifts. 

“Jane had a huge gift bag as well as a fairly big wrapped parcel,” the woman wrote. “Rachel and Dave each had small gift bags.”

Roman Samborskyi | Shutterstock

According to the woman, Jane received every item she had written down on her Christmas list from her grandparents, which was about 10 books and a replica Messi T-shirt. Meanwhile, Rachel and Dave received only one item from their list, with Rachel getting a pair of Tiffany stud earrings and Dave getting a pair of AirPods. 

“I was surprised because my parents bought Jane everything she wanted but only got the others relatively small, but mainly just one item when Jane got many,” the woman admitted. “Obviously Rachel and Dave were a little upset … Dave had the same Messi shirt on his wishlist that my parents got for Jane, but didn’t bother for Dave.” 

: Daughter Says Not Receiving Christmas Gifts For The Past 10 Years Was The Best Decision Her Parents Ever Made

The mom accused her parents of playing favorites with their grandchildren.

The woman told her parents that she believed what they did was “really unfair” to Dave and Rachel, and that it was a shame that they did not demonstrate the same amount of love for them as they did for Jane. She then claimed that her parents must not even view Dave and Rachel as their “real” grandchildren. 

The woman’s parents were offended by her comments, calling her and her husband “greedy” and insisting that they be happy with the gifts that they bought for Rachel and Dave. 

The situation has caused tension within the rest of the family, with the woman’s sister believing that she should apologize to their parents. However, her husband agreed with her and was standing by her side. But something this mom seriously didn’t seem to consider was that Jane’s list of gifts was much less expensive than her siblings’ list. That means she gets more gifts for the same amount of money. Thankfully, commenters quickly pointed out the error of her thinking.

: Survey Reveals The Essential Things People Are Going Without Just So They Can Buy Gifts For The Holidays

After doing the math, most people agreed that these grandparents weren’t favoring their biological granddaughter.

Hrecheniuk Oleksii | Shutterstock

Commenters were quick to point out that the items on Jane’s list were significantly cheaper than those on Rachel and Dave’s list, with jewelry from Tiffany’s and AirPods costing hundreds of dollars, while books and a T-shirt typically cost less than $100. 

“If the step-grandkids want lots of presents to open, they should ask for multiple inexpensive things rather than asking for big-ticket items,” one Redditor commented. “The gifts they got were already very generous and far more than most kids would get from grandparents; expecting their grandparents to buy them even more is greedy.” 

“It’s the value of the gift, not the number of packages,” another user noted. Another stated, “it looks like even getting Jane every single item she wanted doesn’t compare to just one item from your other kids wishlist. You’re looking at quantity, but seriously? You make your parents sound like they’re discriminating against bio and adopted, but they’re really not. Jane wanted cheaper items than her brother and sister. They’re not going to get her one $25 book to stick to a one gift per kid rule.”

When it comes to the holidays, parents and grandparents are already bending over backward to get their children and grandchildren the items on their lists. Expenses add up quickly, and more often than not, there are multiple children and grandchildren to consider. 

These grandparents obviously tried to do everything they could to keep things fair between their grandkids, and the woman’s sister is absolutely right; she owes them an apology. The mom is coming off as materialistic and unreasonable, and it’s hard to understand why. Perhaps there is more to this family drama than we actually know.

Love is not measured by materialism. People get so swept up in the idea of more that the literal meaning of the holiday is lost. Perhaps this family would be better served by setting a cost limit on their gifts moving forward. Who knows, it might even bring the true spirit of Christmas back to their celebrations.

: ‘Broke Mom’ Shares Sadly Realistic Holiday Gift Guide For Anyone Struggling To Afford Presents For Their Loved Ones

Megan Quinn is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and a minor in Creative Writing. She covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on justice in the workplace, personal relationships, parenting debates, and the human experience.