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A woman took to the internet to explain why women should ditch a tradition most girls love the second they get married. Unsurprisingly, not everyone agreed.

There’s no question that life changes a lot when you get married. Suddenly, you’re legally bound to another person, and you’ve vowed to stick with them in sickness and in health. Life is naturally going to look different than it did before. 

But that doesn’t mean that everything has to change. Marriage is about two people joining their lives together, not creating an entirely new one from scratch. You can still enjoy all of your favorite hobbies, and you can still hang out with your friends, for example. However, this wife said she would never go on a girls’ trip now that she’s married because she doesn’t want to be without her husband or her child.

A wife named Jayn argued women should grow out of taking girls’ trips the second they get married.

“As someone who’s married, I don’t think I would ever go on a girls’ trip,” she admitted in a video that has divided the internet. “Nobody takes as good care of me as my husband does. I am not comfortable with anyone the way I’m comfortable with my husband. And I want to be with my husband and child.”

Unsurprisingly, a lot of people disagreed with her. One commenter said, “I’m married and deeply in love with my husband … I’m going on that girl’s trip!” Another asked, “Why do y’all allow marriage to make y’all boring?”

The video garnered so much attention that several other TikTokers responded with their own thoughts, including Lee Monet. She said Jayn’s take was “a little weird, not gonna lie.” 

She added, “Now, if you just don’t have those friends, like, they just don’t exist, then I get it … But if that’s not the case, what a weird way to tell your friends they were just placeholders in your life for so many years.”

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Most people agreed that it’s important to nurture your friendships after marriage.

Commenters pointed out that you have to “keep your identity” outside of your marriage. One said, “As a married woman, I will never stop going on girls’ trips, because if God forbid this marriage doesn’t work or my man passes, my girls will be there for me.”

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This is exactly the point that another user, known as Tell The Bees, made. The man, who has a sociology degree, stated, “A lot of people get into relationships and drop all their friends.” 

He went on to say, “This causes a lot of loneliness because you are literally, as I said in that video, jettisoning people out of your life because they no longer fit this image of, like, you and your man against the world.”

He also touched on the increase in loneliness in the U.S., pointing to a screenshot he included. “But if you look at the data, this is from Pew in 2023, 8% of people say they have no close friends, 7% of people say they have one close friend, uh, 14% of people say they only have two close friends, and then 18% of people say they only have three close friends,” he said.

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A lot of people think they don’t need anyone other than their spouse once they get married.

Singles expert Bella DePaulo, PhD, addressed this very topic for Psychology Today. “There are multiple studies showing that married people are less likely than single people to help, support, visit, and maintain contact with friends, family, and neighbors,” she noted, adding that sociologists are calling the phenomenon “greedy marriage.”

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Laurie Santos, a cognitive scientist and psychology professor at Yale, said that the current state of loneliness is “devastating from a public health perspective.” She explained that estimates on loneliness are worse than rates for obesity and diabetes, and that people who feel lonely have an increased risk of dementia, heart disease, and stroke.

Many people think that if you’re married, you can’t possibly be lonely, but that isn’t necessarily the case. You can’t expect to depend on one person for all of the social support you need. Everyone needs friends, family, and other loved ones, too. While some people may feel like all they need is their spouse and their kids, there is so much more to life.

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Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.