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The message from Hoai Son, now her husband, was buried beneath hundreds of promotional emails. “If I had cleared out my junk folder a second faster that day, I would probably still be telling stories about being single,” Nghia, 36, of Hanoi’s Tu Liem Ward, says.

Until she turned 30, the Hung Yen Province native had focused completely on her education and career.

After graduating from the Posts and Telecommunications Institute of Technology in 2012, she moved to Japan for postgraduate studies. She returned to Vietnam in 2017 at age 27 to take on an HR position at a Japanese cosmetics company.

“My weekdays were packed with work, and weekends were reserved for friends, reading, taking extra courses, and personal hobbies,” she says. “Life was so fulfilling that I never thought I needed a partner or had to settle down.”

That changed dramatically in 2020 during Hanoi’s pandemic lockdown, when she found herself stranded alone in her rented apartment.

Falling gravely ill during the third week of quarantine, unable to buy medicines, eating poorly, and lacking anyone to care for her, she realized being single was no longer practical.

“I went from believing ‘whatever happens, happens’ to actively committing myself to finding a lifelong companion,” she says.

She began by experimenting with paid matchmaking agencies and dating apps, but quickly discovered that swipe-based apps made connections too superficial, leading many users to juggle multiple dates simultaneously without real intent.

She turned instead to the Dating section of Read.

Drawing on her background as an executive headhunter, she restructured her personal search into a structured recruitment procedure.

Rather than publishing vague self-descriptions, her posting detailed precise criteria and non-negotiable dealbreakers including zero tolerance for gambling or smoking and a deep commitment to family values. Physical appearance took a back seat to personal character and ambition.

She received more than 50 responses, which she treated as resume submissions, while face-to-face meetups functioned as formal interviews.

“Recruiting an executive can take an entire year, and finding a life partner is no different,” she says. “Because I viewed this as a systematic process, I didn’t lose hope when results didn’t materialize immediately.”

For months, she exchanged messages on weekdays and went on weekend dates. Some candidates required several meetings before their incompatibility became clear.

But she realized that suitors on the newspaper’s platform were far more purposeful, taking the time to draft thoughtful, lengthy personal cover letters rather than firing off casual one-line greetings.

After meeting around 10 men without finding a match, fatigue set in. “At that point, I was feeling somewhat drained,” she admits.

While clearing out her inbox one evening, she checked her spam folder and discovered an unread message from Hoai Son, a 37-year-old engineer from Nam Dinh Province, sitting there for over three months.

Son had read her published post and decided to reach out, struck by the fact that she had mentioned “family” five separate times.

Before his email strayed into her junk folder, Son’s search for a spouse had proven equally frustrating. Urged by his family to marry since age 25, he had tried numerous avenues without finding the right match.

After a week of emailing, they met in person. Their conversation bypassed small talk about dining, travel, or musical tastes, focusing instead on professional ambition, personal passions, parenting philosophies, and duties toward aging parents.

Nghia discovered that Son possessed a strong drive for self-improvement, unwilling to settle for comfort in a stable job, but constantly striving to pursue work he cared about. “That drive was what I admired most, and it convinced me I could build a life alongside him,” she reveals.

Son was captivated by her listening skills. Nghia showed genuine enthusiasm for his stories while openly offering her own perspectives, an authenticity he had rarely experienced on previous dates.

That rapport was no coincidence; she was applying her professional headhunting expertise directly to the conversation.

After dating for more than a year, the couple tied the knot. Today, they have a two-year-old daughter and are planning for a second child.

Nghia and Son enjoy coffee together on a weekend in August 2026. Photo courtesy of the couple

Looking back, she notes that being upfront about her core values allowed the right partner to step forward naturally, saving time for both.

For Son, the key takeaway was self-awareness. Both agree that while setting unrealistically high expectations is counterproductive, settling for a spouse just to end singlehood is equally flawed.

“You have to understand your own worth and not demand more from a partner than you bring to the table,” he says. “The most critical thing is to keep working on yourself and remain confident that you will be a worthy partner for the right person.”